Individual therapy

Social Anxiety Therapy

Therapy for social anxiety: the dread before, the self-monitoring during, and the merciless replay after. You're not bad at people. Your alarm system is running a story about being judged, and that story can be retired.

50-55 minute sessions ND-affirming, structured work 100% online · TX · ME · MT · NH
Is this you?

The conversation ends. The replay begins.

Other people finish a meeting and move on with their day. You finish a meeting and spend the afternoon reviewing the tape: the thing you said, the way you said it, the face someone may or may not have made. The event was twenty minutes. The aftermath takes hours. If this sounds familiar:

  • You rehearse ordinary sentences before saying them, and still hear every flaw when they come out
  • Meetings have a countdown: you know a question is coming, and you can't hear anything else until it's over
  • Phone calls, introductions, eating in front of others, or being watched while you work feel like performances you didn't audition for
  • You've built a life of workarounds: texts instead of calls, emails instead of meetings, leaving early, arriving late, not going
  • People read you as quiet, aloof, or uninterested, when the truth is you're working harder in that room than anyone
  • Opportunities keep passing: the promotion that needs presenting, the friendship that needs a first invite, the person you never spoke to
Understanding the loop

The fear survives on the very things you do to manage it

Social anxiety runs on predictions of judgment. The workarounds and the replay feel protective, but they're what keep the predictions alive, because the alarm never gets to find out it was wrong. The loop runs in predictable stages.

The social anxiety loop A cycle of five stages connected by arrows in a circle: a social event ahead, the prediction of judgment, safety behaviors and avoidance, relief or escape, and the replay afterward that seems to confirm the fear, feeding back around. The center is labeled: the loop, not the person. The loop, not the person and around again, unless it's interrupted The event ahead a meeting, a call, a party The prediction "they'll see it and judge" Safety behaviors rehearsing, hiding, avoiding Relief or escape over, or it never happened The replay the review confirms the fear

The workarounds are the fuel. Rehearsing, hiding, and avoiding all send the same message: it really was dangerous. The work interrupts the loop at every stage, at a pace you choose.

Who I work with

Wherever the fear shows up for you

Social anxiety is rarely everywhere at once. Most people have a spiky map: fine here, frozen there. Yours is the one we work from.

Meetings & speaking up

Presentations, questions in a group, and the ideas you had but never said.

Small talk & socializing

Parties, group hangs, coworker chat, and the exits you plan before arriving.

Dating & new people

First messages, first dates, and connections that end before they start.

Being perceived

Phone calls, video meetings, eating in public, or anyone watching you work.

Neurodivergent adults

Sorting social anxiety from autistic social experience, because the treatment differs.

What we work on

Four fronts, worked in sequence

The pace is yours and every step is agreed on first. Nobody gets assigned a wedding toast in week two.

Mapping the predictions

What your alarm actually forecasts in each situation: the blush they'll notice, the blank you'll draw, the verdict they'll reach. Written down, the predictions become testable instead of just true-feeling.

Testing them in real life

Graded practice in the situations that matter to you: the question asked in the meeting, the call made instead of the text. Each test gives your alarm the one thing it's never had, which is evidence.

Dropping the safety behaviors

Rehearsing, over-preparing, hiding behind your phone, and staying quiet feel protective, but they block the evidence from landing. We retire them step by step, so the wins finally count.

Ending the replay

The post-event review isn't reflection; it's the loop's closing argument. You learn to catch it, cut it short, and let a conversation be over when it's over. Your worth stops riding on every interaction.

How treatment works

A clear, structured plan, built in sequence

This is structured work built on cognitive-behavioral treatment for social anxiety, including graded real-world practice. By session three you'll know your plan, its phases, and roughly how long the work takes. Sessions are 50-55 minutes.

One distinction I take seriously: social anxiety and autistic social experience are not the same thing, and treating one as the other fails people. Fear of judgment responds to testing the predictions. Autistic social processing is a difference, not a fear, and it's never treated as a flaw here. Many people have some of each, and we map yours before anything else.

How my methods work →

1

Assessment

Your map: where the fear lives, your predictions, your workarounds.

2

Your loop map

Situations ranked together, from easiest to hardest to face.

3

Graded practice

Real-world tests from the bottom of the ladder up, at a pace you set.

4

Consolidation

Becoming your own therapist, with a plan for high-stakes seasons.

Format

All sessions online via secure, HIPAA-compliant video. You must be physically located in Texas, Maine, Montana, or New Hampshire at the time of session. For social anxiety, starting from home removes the hardest part of getting help, which is walking into a stranger's office.

Insurance

Visit the services page to see which insurances are accepted, along with current rates and private pay options.

Approach

Structured, evidence-informed treatment for social anxiety with a neurodivergence-affirming lens. Full credentials →

Common questions

About social anxiety therapy

Quick answers. The full FAQ page has the rest.

Introversion is a preference: you enjoy people in smaller doses and recharge alone, without dread. Social anxiety is a fear: the situations you avoid are ones you wish you could be in, and the avoiding costs you things you want. Plenty of introverts have social anxiety and plenty don't. The question isn't how social you are; it's whether fear is making the choice for you.
Maybe, partly, or not at all, and the difference matters. Finding socializing draining, confusing, or unrewarding is autistic experience, not a disorder, and it's never a treatment target here. Fearing judgment about how you come across is social anxiety, and it's common in autistic adults after years of hard social feedback. We sort out which is which, treat the fear, and leave your social style alone. Nothing here is masking training.
No. Every step is chosen together, ranked together, and paced by you. The ladder starts with situations near your current comfort zone, and the early rungs are usually small: a question in a low-stakes meeting, a coffee order without rehearsing it first. Steps you've agreed to, at a difficulty you've agreed on, is the whole method.
Completely. Most social anxiety is spiky: confident presenting to a hundred people but unable to make small talk at the reception after, or easy with strangers and frozen with coworkers. The spiky map is useful, because the situations where you're fine tell us a lot about what the fear is actually predicting in the ones where you're not.
Yes. The sessions happen online, but the practice happens in your real life: your meetings, your calls, your grocery store. Between sessions you run the experiments where they count, and we review the evidence together. Starting from home also lowers the bar to beginning at all, which for social anxiety is often the tallest hurdle.
No. Self-identified and questioning adults are welcome, and clarifying what's going on is part of the assessment phase.

The replay isn't the truth about you.

The consultation is free and short. We'll talk by phone (I'll call you at the time you schedule) and see if we're a fit. No pressure, no commitment.

Free 15-min consultation