Sexual Communication & Intimacy Needs Discussion

Building openness, understanding, and connection in your intimate relationship

Current Communication Assessment

Healthy sexual communication is the foundation of intimate connection. Assess your current patterns to identify areas for growth.

How comfortable are you currently discussing sexual and intimate topics with your partner?

Partner 1

Very uncomfortable Very comfortable

Partner 2

Very uncomfortable Very comfortable

Current communication patterns - Check all that apply to your relationship:

We talk openly about our sexual desires We avoid talking about sex altogether We only discuss sex when there's a problem We communicate during intimate moments One person initiates most sexual conversations We feel safe expressing sexual preferences Discussions often lead to misunderstandings We use non-verbal communication effectively We check in about satisfaction regularly We struggle to express what we want

Partner 1: What makes sexual communication easier for you?

Partner 2: What makes sexual communication easier for you?

Individual Intimacy & Sexual Needs

Complete this section individually first, then share your responses with each other in a safe, judgment-free conversation.

Rate your current satisfaction in different areas of intimacy:

Intimacy Area	Partner 1 Rating (1-5)	Partner 2 Rating (1-5)
Physical affection (non-sexual touch)
Emotional intimacy & connection
Sexual frequency
Sexual satisfaction & pleasure
Variety & adventure
Romance & seduction
Initiation & spontaneity

Complete these statements about your intimate needs:

Statement	Partner 1	Partner 2
I feel most connected when we...
My ideal frequency for intimacy is...
I feel most desired when...
Something I'd like to try or explore is...
I need more of...
I need less of...

Barriers to Sexual Communication

Identifying what prevents open sexual communication helps you address these obstacles and create safer conversations.

Common barriers to sexual communication - Check all that apply:

Fear of being judged or rejected Embarrassment or shame about desires Lack of appropriate vocabulary Past negative reactions from partner Cultural or religious upbringing Fear of hurting partner's feelings Assuming partner should "just know" Different comfort levels with sexual topics Timing - never finding the right moment Body image or self-consciousness Fear of partner becoming defensive Uncertainty about what I actually want

Addressing your barriers:

Your Biggest Barrier	How It Shows Up	Strategies to Overcome It
Barrier #1:
Barrier #2:
Barrier #3:

What would need to change for you to feel completely safe discussing intimate topics?

Building Communication Skills

Effective sexual communication requires specific skills. Practice these approaches to create more open, satisfying conversations.

Expressing Desires

How to share what you want

Use "I" statements: "I would love..." Be specific rather than vague Share positive desires, not just complaints Timing: choose relaxed, non-sexual moments Use gentle, curious language

Active Listening

How to really hear your partner

Listen without interrupting or defending Ask clarifying questions Reflect back what you heard Stay curious, not judgmental Thank them for sharing

Giving Feedback

How to share what works and what doesn't

Use the "sandwich" method (positive-suggestion-positive) Focus on behaviors, not personality Suggest alternatives: "Instead, could we try..." Give feedback soon after, not weeks later Balance constructive feedback with appreciation

Handling Differences

When you have different needs or desires

Look for compromise and creative solutions Validate each other's feelings Find underlying needs behind requests Take breaks if discussions get heated Focus on "both/and" rather than "either/or"

Communication Ground Rules

Establish agreements for safe sexual communication:

No judgment or criticism during vulnerable sharing It's okay to ask for clarification We can pause conversations if feeling overwhelmed Confidentiality - what's shared stays between us Both partners have equal voice and time Sharing is voluntary - no pressure to disclose everything

Creating Intimacy & Connection

Sexual communication extends beyond verbal conversation. Explore all the ways you can build intimacy and connection.

Ways to build intimacy outside the bedroom - Check what appeals to both of you:

Daily check-ins about feelings and desires Non-sexual physical affection throughout the day Scheduled intimate conversations (weekly/monthly) Reading books or articles about sexuality together Taking quizzes or assessments about sexual preferences Sharing fantasies or curiosities Creating romantic or sensual environments Sending flirty or appreciative messages Massage or sensual touch without sexual expectation Planning special intimate dates or experiences

Communication during intimate moments:

Communication Type	How You'll Practice This
Expressing what feels good
Asking for what you want
Redirecting gently when something doesn't work
Checking in with your partner
Using non-verbal communication

What would make intimate communication feel safest and most natural for both of you?

Action Plan for Better Communication

Create specific, achievable goals for improving your sexual communication and intimacy.

Your communication goals:

Time Frame	Communication Goal	How You'll Practice
This Week
This Month
Next 3 Months

Weekly communication plan:

Day/Time	Type of Communication	Focus/Topic

How will you remind each other to practice these communication skills?

How will you handle setbacks or difficult conversations?

Accountability & Support

How will you support each other in improving sexual communication?

Weekly communication check-ins Celebrate progress and improvements Read relationship/sexuality books together Attend workshops or therapy together

Communication & Intimacy Commitment

Together, we commit to improving our sexual communication by:

Our vision for intimate communication in our relationship:

Partner 1 Signature & Date:

Partner 2 Signature & Date:

Open, honest sexual communication strengthens intimacy and deepens connection. Practice patience and compassion as you grow together.