Rebuilding Trust: Actions vs. Words Assessment

This 20-question self-assessment helps you reflect on whether your partner’s actions are backing up their words after betrayal. Use it for clarity, not judgment.

  1. They follow through consistently on their promises.

  2. They take full responsibility for the betrayal without blaming others.

  3. They make time to talk openly without getting defensive.

  4. You feel emotionally safer now than you did early on.

  5. They respect your boundaries around communication, space, or healing.

  6. They show genuine remorse, not just guilt or fear of consequences.

  7. They’ve made meaningful changes to behaviors that hurt you.

  8. They are open to feedback without shutting down.

  9. They ask how you're doing emotionally, not just logistically.

  10. They aren’t pressuring you to “get over it” before you're ready.

  11. They are transparent with passwords, schedules, or whereabouts if needed.

  12. They seek to understand your pain, not just justify theirs.

  13. They prioritize time with you in a way that feels genuine.

  14. They’re not reactive when you ask difficult questions.

  15. They check in about how the healing process is going for you.

  16. You can name multiple actions that show their commitment to rebuilding trust.

  17. You feel more secure in the relationship over time, not just after apologies.

  18. They are open to therapy or growth work alongside you.

  19. You believe they are trustworthy more because of what they do, not what they say.

  20. They’ve remained patient, even when your trust rebuild is slow.

Created by Sagebrush Counseling, LLC

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