ADHD Toolkit: Emotional Regulation | Sagebrush Counseling

ADHD Toolkit

Emotional Regulation

Tools to understand, process, and regulate your emotions—especially during ADHD emotional intensity

Interactive Emotion Wheel

🎯 Name What You're Feeling

ADHD brains often experience emotions intensely but struggle to identify exactly what we're feeling. Click a core emotion to explore more specific feelings.

😊 Happy

Joy, pleasure

😢 Sad

Down, hurt

😠 Angry

Frustrated, mad

😰 Fearful

Anxious, scared

🤢 Disgusted

Disapproval

😲 Surprised

Shocked, amazed

📥 Download Full Emotion Wheel

Right-click and save this page, or print to PDF for a complete emotion reference guide

Name the Feeling Worksheet

📝 Identify Your Current Emotion

Use this when you feel emotionally overwhelmed but can't pinpoint why. Work through each step to get clarity.

1
Barely noticeable
2
Mild
3
Moderate
4
Strong
5
Overwhelming

Self-Soothing Scripts

💬 Words to Say to Yourself

When emotions feel too big, sometimes we need a script. Read these aloud or in your head. Adapt them to fit your voice.

When You're Overwhelmed

"This feeling is intense right now, and that's okay. I've felt overwhelmed before and I've gotten through it. This won't last forever. Right now, I just need to breathe and take things one step at a time. I don't have to fix everything this second. I'm safe. I'm doing the best I can."

When You Made a Mistake

"I messed up, and I'm human. Everyone makes mistakes—this doesn't define me or my worth. I can learn from this. Making a mistake doesn't mean I'm a failure; it means I tried. I can apologize if needed, make it right if possible, and move forward. I forgive myself."

When You're Anxious About the Future

"I'm worried about something that hasn't happened yet. My brain is trying to protect me by planning for every scenario, but I don't have to figure it all out right now. I can handle things as they come. I've dealt with uncertain situations before. Right now, in this moment, I'm okay."

When You Feel Rejected or Left Out

"This hurt is real, and it's okay to feel sad about it. Not being included doesn't mean I'm not worthy of connection. Maybe they didn't mean to hurt me. Maybe this isn't about me at all. I deserve friendships where I feel valued. This one moment doesn't define all my relationships."

When You're Having Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD)

"My ADHD is making this feel way bigger than it is. This intense emotional pain is RSD, not reality. What feels like rejection or criticism right now might not be what the other person meant. I'm going to pause before I react. I'll revisit this when I'm calmer. This feeling will pass—RSD always does."

When You're Feeling Numb or Disconnected

"I'm feeling emotionally shut down right now, and that's a protective response. It's okay to not feel anything for a bit. I don't have to force myself to feel. When I'm ready, my feelings will come back. For now, I can be gentle with myself and do something grounding."

Breathing Exercises

🫁 Calm Your Nervous System

Breathing exercises activate your parasympathetic nervous system, which helps regulate emotional intensity.

Box Breathing (4-4-4-4)

Breathe

Click Start to begin

Other Breathing Techniques to Try

  • 4-7-8 Breathing: Inhale for 4, hold for 7, exhale for 8 (calming for anxiety)
  • Physiological Sigh: Two quick inhales through nose, one long exhale through mouth (instant stress relief)
  • Belly Breathing: Hand on belly, breathe deep so your stomach expands (not chest)
  • Counted Breaths: Count each exhale up to 10, then start over (focuses busy mind)
  • One Minute Breathing: Just focus on breathing for 60 seconds, nothing else

Grounding Techniques (5-4-3-2-1)

⚓ Anchor Yourself in the Present

When emotions feel overwhelming or you're dissociating, grounding brings you back to the here and now. Use your senses to reconnect with your environment.

5 Things You SEE

Look around. Name 5 things you can see right now.

4 Things You TOUCH

Notice 4 things you can physically feel (chair, clothes, temperature).

3 Things You HEAR

Listen. What are 3 sounds you can hear?

2 Things You SMELL

What can you smell? Fresh air, coffee, your shampoo?

1 Thing You TASTE

Notice any taste in your mouth. Or take a sip of water.

More Grounding Techniques

  • Ice cube in hand: Hold ice until it melts (intense sensation brings you present)
  • Feet on floor: Press feet firmly down, notice the pressure and support
  • Name 5 colors: Find 5 red things, 5 blue things in your environment
  • Splash cold water: On face or hands (activates diving reflex, calms nervous system)
  • Describe surroundings: Out loud or in your head in detailed sentences
  • Touch different textures: Smooth phone, soft blanket, rough wall

ADHD & Emotional Intensity

🧠 Why Emotions Feel So BIG

ADHD affects emotional regulation in specific ways. Understanding this helps you be compassionate with yourself.

ADHD Emotional Patterns

  • Emotional impulsivity: Feelings hit fast and hard before your thinking brain catches up
  • Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD): Intense emotional pain from perceived rejection or criticism
  • Difficulty shifting emotions: Once you feel something, it's hard to move on—you get "stuck"
  • All-or-nothing emotions: Feelings tend to be extreme—you're elated or devastated, rarely neutral
  • Emotional flooding: Multiple feelings at once that are hard to sort through
  • Delayed emotional processing: Sometimes you feel the full impact hours or days later

Emergency Emotion Regulation Kit

🚨 When You Need Help RIGHT NOW

Create your personalized list of what actually helps when you're in crisis mode.

Remember

  • It's okay to need help regulating your emotions—everyone does sometimes
  • Distraction isn't avoidance if you come back to process later
  • Your regulation strategies might change day to day—that's normal
  • If you're in crisis, reach out: 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (call or text)
Previous
Previous

Organization

Next
Next

Motivation