Sexual Values Clarification for Couples
A Comprehensive Assessment for Building Sexual Intimacy and Understanding
Important Guidelines
This assessment is designed to facilitate open, honest communication between partners about sexual values and preferences. Complete this together in a safe, private space where you can discuss responses openly. Consider working through this with a qualified couples therapist for maximum benefit.
Part I: Fundamental Sexual Values
Rate the importance of each sexual value to you personally on a scale of 1-10:
Emotional Connection
Sex as an expression of love and emotional bond
Partner A
Partner B
Physical Pleasure
Sex for physical satisfaction and pleasure
Partner A
Partner B
Spontaneity
Unplanned, spontaneous sexual encounters
Partner A
Partner B
Frequency
Regular, consistent sexual activity
Partner A
Partner B
Adventure & Variety
Exploring new experiences and positions
Partner A
Partner B
Intimacy & Tenderness
Gentle, loving, emotionally intimate encounters
Partner A
Partner B
Part II: Sexual Boundaries and Comfort Levels
For each area, indicate your comfort level:
Communication About Sex
Partner A
Partner B
Sexual Preferences and Boundaries
Check all that apply to your comfort level and boundaries:
Partner A - Comfortable With:
Partner B - Comfortable With:
Part III: Sexual Relationship Context
Ideal Sexual Frequency
Partner A
Partner B
What Makes Sex Most Satisfying for You?
Partner A
Partner B
Sexual Concerns or Anxieties
Partner A
Partner B
Part IV: Guided Discussion Areas
Use these prompts to facilitate deeper conversations about your sexual relationship:
Question 1: Sexual History and Learning
How did you learn about sex? What messages did you receive about sexuality growing up? How do these early messages affect your current sexual relationship?
Question 2: Emotional Safety and Vulnerability
What do you need to feel emotionally safe during intimate moments? How can your partner help you feel more comfortable expressing your desires and boundaries?
Question 3: Addressing Differences
Looking at your responses above, where do you see the biggest differences in your sexual values or preferences? How can you honor both partners' needs?
Question 4: Growth and Exploration
What areas of your sexual relationship would you like to explore or improve together? What support do you need from each other?
Part V: Sexual Relationship Agreements
Based on your discussions, create mutual agreements for your sexual relationship:
Our Communication Agreement
How will we talk about sex, desires, concerns, and boundaries?
Our Intimacy Agreement
What are our mutual commitments regarding frequency, initiation, and sexual connection?
Our Boundaries Agreement
What are our hard boundaries and soft boundaries? How will we respect and communicate about limits?
Our Growth Agreement
How will we continue to grow and explore together while honoring each other's comfort levels?
Part VI: Next Steps and Commitments
Immediate Action Steps
What will you commit to doing in the next week to improve your sexual relationship?
Partner A Commits To:
Partner B Commits To:
Long-term Goals
What are your shared goals for your sexual relationship over the next 6 months?
Support and Resources
What additional support or resources might help you achieve these goals?
Assessment Complete
Consider scheduling regular check-ins to revisit and update your agreements as your relationship grows and evolves.