ARFID in Adulthood: When "Picky Eating" Is Something More
Have you always been called a "picky eater"? Do certain textures, smells, or foods trigger overwhelming responses that others don't seem to understand? If you're an adult still struggling with severely limited food choices, you might be dealing with something deeper than preferences—you could have ARFID.
What Is ARFID?
Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID) is far more than just being selective about food. ARFID is characterized by significant limitations in food intake leading to malnutrition, weight loss, or nutritional deficiency, without the concurrent body image disturbances typically seen in anorexia nervosa or bulimia nervosa. Unlike other eating disorders, ARFID isn't about wanting to change your body or lose weight—it's about genuine difficulties with eating that can seriously impact your health and quality of life.
Many adults discover ARFID later in life, often after years of being dismissed as "just picky" or told they'd "grow out of it." The truth is, ARFID can occur at any age but typically arises in childhood and can persist into adulthood.
The Three Faces of ARFID
ARFID typically presents in three main ways, and many people experience a combination:
1. Sensory Sensitivity
Strong reactions to textures, tastes, smells, or temperatures
Limited "safe foods" that feel manageable
Difficulty trying new foods due to sensory overwhelm
2. Lack of Interest in Food
Low appetite or seeming to "forget" to eat
Food doesn't feel rewarding or interesting
May need reminders to eat regularly
3. Fear of Negative Consequences
Anxiety about choking, vomiting, or allergic reactions
Avoidance of foods based on past negative experiences
Fear that eating certain foods will cause harm
ARFID and Neurodivergence: The Hidden Connection
If you're neurodivergent—particularly if you're autistic, have ADHD, or experience sensory processing differences—you may be more likely to develop ARFID. Research shows a significant overlap between ARFID and neurodevelopmental conditions, with multiple studies showing that 16.27% of individuals with ARFID had ASD, and 11.41% of those diagnosed with ASD also had ARFID.
This connection makes sense when we consider how neurodivergent brains process sensory information differently. What feels like a minor texture to one person might feel overwhelming or even painful to someone with heightened sensory sensitivity.
If you're wondering whether you might be neurodivergent, you're not alone in asking that question later in life. Many adults are discovering their neurodivergence after years of feeling "different" but not knowing why. This helpful guide from Sagebrush Counseling can help you explore whether you might be neurodivergent and what that could mean for you.
ARFID in Adult Relationships
ARFID doesn't just affect you—it can impact your relationships too. Partners may struggle to understand why certain foods cause such distress, or feel frustrated by the limitations ARFID places on shared meals and social situations.
The majority of adults with ARFID were female (70%), with an average age of 32.7 ± 13.7 years, showing that this is very much an adult issue that affects people in committed relationships, careers, and family life.
Some relationship challenges might include:
Difficulty eating at restaurants or social gatherings
Partners feeling confused or hurt by food restrictions
Stress around meal planning and preparation
Feeling isolated from food-centered social activities
The Reality: It's More Common Than You Think
Recent research reveals that ARFID affects a significant portion of the adult population. ARFID is thought to affect up to 5% of adult populations, making it far more common than many people realize. Yet because it's often misunderstood or dismissed, many adults live with ARFID without proper support or recognition.
A study of adults who presented for a GI evaluation found high rates of ARFID symptoms, but only one had a current diagnosis of AFRID from their GI doctor. This highlights how under-recognized ARFID remains in healthcare settings.
You're Not "Just Picky"—And You're Not Alone
One of the most harmful myths about ARFID is that adults should "just get over it" or that it's about willpower. The reality is much more complex. This study replicated findings that ARFID is associated with neurodevelopmental and anxiety disorders in the lifespan through young adulthood. Extending prior work, results suggest a history of ARFID is associated with increased anxiety in young adulthood.
Your struggles with food are real, valid, and treatable. You're not being dramatic, attention-seeking, or childish. You're dealing with a legitimate medical and mental health condition that deserves understanding and support.
Treatment and Hope
ARFID is absolutely treatable. Right now, only one treatment has been tested for treating ARFID in adults: cognitive behavioral therapy for ARFID (CBT-AR). Preliminary evidence shows that it may be a very promising treatment for all presentations of ARFID.
CBT-AR is specifically designed to address:
Anxiety and fears around food
Sensory sensitivities
Expanding food variety gradually and safely
Building positive associations with eating
Treatment typically involves working with a multidisciplinary team that might include a therapist, physician, and nutritionist who understand ARFID specifically.
Finding Support for Neurodivergent Adults and Couples
If you're neurodivergent and dealing with ARFID, or if you're in a relationship where ARFID is affecting your connection, specialized support can make all the difference. Working with therapists who understand both neurodivergence and eating disorders is crucial for effective treatment.
Sagebrush Counseling offers specialized support for neurodivergent adults and couples, including those navigating autism and relationships and neurodivergent couples therapy. Their approach recognizes that neurodivergent brains work differently—and that's not something to fix, but something to understand and work with.
Counseling for Both Individuals and Couples
Living with ARFID as an adult can feel isolating, especially when the world expects you to "just eat normally." But you don't have to navigate this alone. Whether you need individual support to address your relationship with food or couples therapy to help your partner understand your experiences, help is available.
Your relationship with food—and with yourself—can improve. You deserve to feel supported, understood, and free from shame around eating. You deserve relationships where your needs are respected and accommodated. Most importantly, you deserve to know that you're not broken, wrong, or "too sensitive."
If you’re looking for neurodiverse couples counseling or indiviudal support if you have ARFID, reach out.
Ready to Get Support?
If you're ready to explore how therapy can help you manage ARFID or support your relationship through these challenges, Sagebrush Counseling offers individual and couples counseling with specialized experience in neurodivergence and eating concerns.
Take the first step:
Individual therapy for ARFID, anxiety, and neurodivergent support
Couples counseling for navigating ARFID in relationships
Evening and weekend appointments available
Virtual sessions across Texas (no need to worry about sensory-overwhelming waiting rooms)
Contact Sagebrush Counseling today: 📞 (512) 790-0019
📧 contact@sagebrushcounseling.com
🌐 www.sagebrushcounseling.com
Disclaimer: This blog post is for educational purposes only and is not intended to replace professional medical or mental health advice. ARFID is a serious medical condition that requires proper diagnosis and treatment from qualified healthcare professionals. If you're experiencing significant restrictions in food intake, nutritional deficiencies, or health complications related to eating, please consult with a healthcare provider. The information provided here should not be used for self-diagnosis or as a substitute for professional treatment.
