Are You Struggling with Commitment? Take This 50-question Quiz

We all want connection—but when it starts getting serious, some of us feel that subtle (or not-so-subtle) urge to back away.

Maybe it feels like fear, maybe it looks like overthinking, or maybe it’s just a general sense of “something’s off.” If you’ve ever wondered whether commitment issues might be part of your story, this quiz is a gentle place to begin.

There’s no pressure here—just honest questions to help you better understand how you approach relationships, and how you might want to grow.

What Are Commitment Issues, Really?

Commitment issues aren’t always about being anti-relationship. Sometimes they’re about:

• Feeling overwhelmed when things get serious

• Sabotaging something good without fully knowing why

• Getting the “ick” when a relationship starts feeling predictable

• Feeling trapped or scared when someone wants long-term plans

Often, it’s fear—not lack of love—that drives these patterns.

The Commitment Comfort Quiz: 50 Questions to Help You Reflect

Answer each question with Yes, Sometimes, or No:

1. I feel nervous when someone starts talking about the future.

2. I tend to leave relationships before they get too deep.

3. I’ve been told I send mixed signals.

4. I like the idea of love but not the reality of long-term commitment.

5. I feel suffocated in relationships, even when things are going well.

6. I tend to idealize people at first, then quickly lose interest.

7. I panic when I feel too emotionally close to someone.

8. I’ve ended things without fully understanding why.

9. I often wonder if I’ll ever be “ready” for a real relationship.

10. I fear being stuck with the wrong person.

11. I pull away when someone starts to really care about me.

12. I get anxious when I don’t feel completely in control.

13. I sometimes ghost or emotionally check out.

14. I question my feelings frequently.

15. I’m drawn to emotionally unavailable people.

16. I lose interest as soon as someone shows serious interest.

17. I second-guess myself when someone is “too nice.”

18. I fear being truly seen by a partner.

19. I worry about not being good enough for someone.

20. I’ve self-sabotaged relationships that were going well.

21. I tend to pick fights when things feel too good.

22. I want closeness but also feel better at a distance.

23. I struggle to communicate my needs.

24. I get overwhelmed by the emotional needs of a partner.

25. I crave independence—even in love.

26. I find myself comparing every partner to an ideal fantasy.

27. I’m afraid of making the wrong choice and regretting it.

28. I often wonder if I’d be happier single.

29. I feel restless when things feel too settled.

30. I worry more about losing myself than losing a partner.

31. I tend to run when someone gets emotionally intense.

32. I avoid labels like “boyfriend” or “girlfriend.”

33. I find comfort in ambiguity.

34. I get more excited about the chase than the relationship.

35. I’m afraid of disappointing someone long-term.

36. I find it hard to imagine sharing my whole life with someone.

37. I overthink small things my partner does.

38. I sometimes push people away to test if they’ll stay.

39. I’m afraid of losing freedom in a committed relationship.

40. I fear becoming dependent on someone.

41. I’ve left relationships that were technically “good.”

42. I feel awkward around traditional relationship milestones.

43. I struggle with vulnerability.

44. I’m afraid of becoming bored in a long-term relationship.

45. I feel emotionally safer alone.

46. I have a fear of being “trapped.”

47. I sometimes wonder if I’m built for long-term love.

48. I downplay how much I care.

49. I feel uncomfortable when someone gets too close emotionally.

50. I want love—but I don’t always trust it.

How to Understand Your Results

There’s no pass/fail here—just insight.

• Mostly Yes: You may be navigating some real fear around connection and commitment. These patterns are understandable, and they don’t mean you can’t have meaningful relationships.

• Mostly Sometimes: You might be somewhere in the middle—open to love, but still holding on to some protective habits. That’s a great place to start from.

• Mostly No: Commitment may not be a big hurdle for you—or you’ve already done a lot of work to feel safe in love.

Where Commitment Fears Come From

Some common roots:

• Past heartbreak or betrayal

• Fear of losing identity

• Childhood attachment wounds

• Modeling from caregivers who struggled with commitment

• Pressure to “get it right” or fear of making the wrong choice

Commitment issues don’t mean you’re broken. They mean you’re cautious—and maybe still healing.

What You Can Do Next

• Talk to someone you trust about what came up

• Journaling your answers can offer surprising insight

• Work with a therapist who can help you explore your patterns in a safe space

• Practice small commitments in everyday life to build trust in yourself

A Gentle Reminder

You’re not bad at love—you’re just learning how to feel safe in it.

Whether this quiz brought up “oh wow, that’s me” or just a few “maybe” moments, it’s okay. There’s no rush. You can take your time, build trust slowly, and still have the kind of love that feels real and secure.

And if you ever want help exploring those patterns and fears more deeply—I’m here.