What It Really Means to ‘Sit with Your Emotions’ (And How to Do It)

Mar 27

Written By A G

If you’ve ever been told to “just sit with it” when you were spiraling, you probably wanted to scream. What does that even mean? Sit with what? The tight chest? The lump in your throat? The giant wave of sadness you’ve been stuffing down for weeks?

At Sagebrush Counseling, this comes up a lot. The question asked, “Isn’t this just wallowing?” or “How do I sit with emotions without completely falling apart?”

What sitting with your emotions actually means, why it matters for your mental health, and how to do it in a way that’s grounding instead of overwhelming.

The Real Meaning Behind “Sit With It”

This isn’t about sitting cross-legged in perfect peace while tears gracefully roll down your cheeks (though if that’s your vibe, go for it).

Sitting with your emotions means:

Not stuffing them down or ignoring them
Not numbing them with work, food, scrolling, or other distractions
Not jumping into “fix it” mode before understanding what you’re feeling

It’s about giving your emotions a seat at the table, without letting them take over the whole house. You're creating space to feel—without judgment, without shame, and without rushing to move on.

Why We’re So Good at Avoiding Our Emotions

Avoidance is a survival strategy. Maybe you grew up in a home where big emotions weren’t safe. Maybe you were taught that crying is weak, or anger is scary. Maybe you’ve just been doing what you need to function—and there’s no shame in that.

But over time, bottling up emotions tends to backfire. What we avoid emotionally doesn’t just disappear—it often turns into:

Anxiety
Physical tension and pain
Burnout or emotional shutdown
Sudden outbursts that feel “out of nowhere”

Sitting with your feelings isn’t about being dramatic. It’s about healing what’s been silenced.

What Happens When You Let Yourself Feel

Here’s the beautiful (and slightly annoying) thing: emotions are temporary. Most emotions only last 90 seconds—unless we try to avoid or suppress them, in which case they linger like uninvited guests.

When you make space to feel instead of fight, something shifts. You start to:

Understand what your emotions are trying to tell you
Break old patterns of reactive behavior
Stop fearing your own inner world
Feel less “on edge” and more grounded

Step-by-Step: How to Sit With Your Emotions Without Spiraling

So how do you actually do this? Let’s walk through it gently:

Step 1: Create a Safe Spot

Find a quiet(ish) space where you feel emotionally safe. This might be your bedroom, your car, or even a five-minute break in the bathroom if that’s all you can get.

Sit, lie down, stand—whatever feels most natural.

Step 2: Name What You’re Feeling

Not just “bad” or “weird.” Try to go deeper. Are you sad? Hurt? Ashamed? Embarrassed? Lonely? Naming it brings clarity.

Can’t find the right word? That’s okay. Try saying, “Something is coming up, and I’m letting it be here.”

Step 3: Get Curious, Not Critical

Let the feeling exist. Instead of judging it, try asking:

“Where do I feel this in my body?”
“What might this emotion be trying to show me?”
“What do I need right now?”

Think of your emotion like a visitor—not a problem to solve, but a message to listen to.

Step 4: Breathe. Seriously, Just Breathe.

Use slow, deep breaths to stay connected to your body. If you feel overwhelmed, try a grounding practice like:

Noticing 5 things you can see
Placing your hand over your heart
Saying something comforting like, “I can handle this.”

Step 5: Offer Yourself Compassion

This part matters. You’re doing something brave—facing what most people avoid.

Try saying to yourself:

“It’s okay to feel this.”
“This is hard, and I’m doing the best I can.”
“My emotions aren’t too much.”

If that feels awkward at first, that’s normal. Compassion is a muscle. Keep using it.

What If the Emotion Feels Too Big?

Sometimes emotions come up like a tidal wave. If you feel like you're drowning, it's okay to pause.

Try:

Splashing cold water on your face
Stepping outside for fresh air
Holding something grounding (a stone, a mug, a soft blanket)
Doing something rhythmic like walking or knitting

You don’t have to sit with the whole feeling all at once. Dipping your toes in is still progress.

“Okay But... Isn’t This Just Wallowing?”

Nope. There’s a difference between sitting with your emotions and marinating in them until you spiral.

Sitting with emotions is about:

Feeling what's there
Listening to the message
Letting it pass through you

Wallowing is:

Getting stuck in self-blame or hopelessness
Replaying the same story on a loop
Believing the emotion is your forever truth

You’re not doing that. You’re learning to ride the wave without getting pulled under.

How to Make This a Gentle Part of Your Routine

Feeling your feelings doesn’t have to be a giant emotional event. It can become part of your daily rhythm—like brushing your teeth, but for your heart.

Ideas:

Set a 5-minute timer in the evening to check in with yourself
Keep a “mood log” or emotion tracker
Try a daily “What am I feeling right now?” journal prompt
Talk to a therapist (hey, that’s us!)

At Sagebrush Counseling, This Is Our Jam

We don’t just talk about your thoughts—we help you actually feel what’s going on beneath the surface. Whether you’ve been avoiding emotions your whole life, or you’re just trying to handle big feelings without shutting down, we’re here for the messy middle.

Sitting with your emotions is a practice—not a one-time fix. It gets easier with support, compassion, and curiosity. And you don’t have to do it alone.

Ready to stop running from your feelings and learn how to face them with confidence?
Reach out to Sagebrush Counseling. We’ll help you build emotional resilience, one moment at a time.

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A G