IFS-Informed Therapy: Exploring the Different "Parts" Within You
Have you ever felt like you're of two minds about something? Like part of you desperately wants to speak up in a meeting while another part keeps you silent? Or part of you wants to set boundaries with a difficult family member while another part feels guilty even considering it? These aren't just figures of speech. According to Internal Family Systems therapy, these different voices represent real parts of your internal system, each with its own perspective, feelings, and protective role.
Internal Family Systems, or IFS, offers a compassionate framework for understanding the complexity within each of us. Rather than seeing conflicting thoughts and feelings as problems to eliminate, IFS recognizes them as parts of an internal system trying their best to protect you, often using strategies learned during difficult times in your past.
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Parts work therapy helps you understand the voices, protectors, and patterns within you—so you can lead your life from calm and clarity instead of conflict.
Schedule a Consultation →What Is Internal Family Systems Therapy?
Internal Family Systems therapy was developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz in the 1980s. Originally trained as a family therapist, Schwartz noticed that his clients often spoke about different "parts" of themselves—the part that wanted to succeed, the part that was afraid to try, the critical part, the wounded part. Instead of dismissing this as metaphor, he began taking these parts seriously and discovered something profound: when people learned to relate to their parts with curiosity and compassion, healing naturally followed.
IFS is now recognized as an evidence-based practice, with research showing its effectiveness for treating trauma, PTSD, depression, anxiety, and various other mental health concerns. The approach has been particularly valuable for people with complex trauma histories who haven't responded fully to other therapeutic approaches.
At its core, IFS is built on two fundamental ideas:
The mind is naturally multiple. We all have different parts, and this multiplicity is not pathological—it's the normal structure of the human psyche. These parts develop throughout our lives, especially in response to experiences that require us to adapt or protect ourselves.
Everyone has a Self. Beneath and between all your parts exists what IFS calls the Self—your core essence that is inherently calm, curious, compassionate, connected, and capable of healing. The goal of IFS therapy isn't to eliminate parts but to help Self lead your internal system.
Understanding Your Internal System
IFS identifies three main types of parts within our internal systems, each playing a specific role in trying to keep you safe and functioning.
Exiles
Exiles are the wounded parts of you, often young, that carry the pain, shame, fear, or trauma from difficult experiences. These parts hold the emotions and beliefs that felt overwhelming when you experienced them—feelings like "I'm unlovable," "I'm not safe," "I'm too much," or "I don't matter."
Exiles get their name because other parts work hard to keep them hidden away. The feelings these parts carry are so intense and painful that your system tries to lock them in the basement, so to speak, to protect you from being overwhelmed by them.
For example, you might have an exiled part that's still the seven-year-old who was humiliated in front of the class, carrying shame and the belief that speaking up will lead to ridicule. Even as an adult, when this part gets activated, you might feel that childhood shame flooding your system.
Managers
Managers are the parts that try to keep you safe by maintaining control and preventing anything that might activate your exiles. They're proactive protectors, working around the clock to keep your life organized, acceptable, and protected from further pain.
Common manager parts include:
The perfectionist who believes that if you're flawless, you'll be safe from criticism
The people-pleaser who prioritizes others' needs to avoid rejection
The planner who tries to anticipate and prevent every possible problem
The critic who beats you up before anyone else can
The caretaker who focuses on everyone else to avoid feeling your own pain
The intellectual who stays in your head to avoid feeling emotions
Managers develop sophisticated strategies, and they're often rewarded by society for their efforts. Your perfectionist manager might help you excel in school or your career. Your people-pleasing manager might make you popular and well-liked. But over time, these strategies become exhausting and keep you from being authentic.
Firefighters
Firefighters are emergency responders. When exiles break through despite managers' best efforts—when you feel overwhelmed, flooded with painful emotions, or triggered—firefighters rush in with immediate, intense strategies to douse the flames.
Firefighter strategies often include:
Substance use or excessive drinking
Binge eating or restricting food
Compulsive behaviors like shopping, gambling, or sexual activity
Dissociation or numbing out
Self-harm
Rage or explosive anger
Excessive sleeping or screen time
Unlike managers who work preventatively, firefighters react in the moment, often using whatever works to stop the pain immediately, regardless of long-term consequences. This is why people can intellectually know their coping mechanism is harmful but feel unable to stop—it's not about lack of willpower but about a part that's desperately trying to protect them from unbearable feelings.
The Self: Your Internal Leader
The most hopeful aspect of IFS is the concept of Self. According to the model, underneath all your parts, you have an undamaged core Self characterized by what Schwartz calls the "8 C's":
Calmness - Inner peace even amid difficulty
Curiosity - Genuine interest in understanding rather than judging
Clarity - Ability to see situations accurately
Compassion - Warmth and care toward yourself and others
Confidence - Trust in your own capabilities
Courage - Willingness to face difficulty
Creativity - Flexible, innovative thinking
Connectedness - Feeling of belonging and relationship
When you're in Self, you naturally know how to relate to your parts with these qualities. You're not trying to eliminate protectors or force exiles to get over it. You're creating an internal environment where all parts feel heard, valued, and able to relax their extreme roles.
How IFS Therapy Works
Parts work therapy, as IFS is sometimes called, involves learning to identify, access, and relate to your different parts from Self.
Identifying Parts Therapy begins with noticing parts. When you feel a strong emotion, have a critical thought, or react in a certain way, your therapist helps you recognize: "That's a part." This simple shift from "I am anxious" to "A part of me is anxious" creates space. You're not the anxiety; you have a part that feels anxious, and there's a Self that can relate to that anxious part.
Accessing Self Your therapist helps you access Self-energy by asking questions like: "How do you feel toward that anxious part?" If you say "I hate it" or "I want it gone," that's another part (often a manager) speaking. But if you feel curious, compassionate, or even just neutral, that's Self. Once in Self, you can turn toward parts with genuine interest.
Getting to Know Parts From Self, you can ask parts what they want you to know. What are they trying to protect you from? When did they take on this role? What do they fear would happen if they stopped? This isn't intellectual analysis—it's actual internal dialogue where parts often share surprising information about their origins and intentions.
Unburdening Exiles Once protective parts trust that Self can handle it, they allow access to exiles. From Self, you can be with these wounded parts, offer them what they needed then but didn't receive (comfort, protection, validation), and help them release the burdens they're carrying. This process, called unburdening, allows exiles to move out of the past and into the present, releasing their extreme beliefs and emotions.
Updating Protectors When exiles are unburdened and healing, protective parts no longer need to work so hard. They can relax their extreme strategies and often discover new, preferred roles within your system. Your perfectionist might become a helpful quality-checker rather than a relentless taskmaster. Your people-pleaser might become someone who genuinely enjoys connection rather than someone desperately trying to earn worth through service.
What IFS Looks Like in Practice
Let's imagine someone named Sarah who struggles with anxiety and procrastination around her creative projects. In IFS therapy, she might discover:
An exile that's her younger self who was told her ideas were weird and embarrassing. This part carries shame and the belief "my creativity makes me unacceptable."
A manager that procrastinates and distracts her whenever she sits down to create, trying to prevent the activation of that shameful exile. It believes "if we don't try, we can't fail and feel that shame again."
A firefighter that scrolls social media for hours or binge-watches shows when the pressure builds and exile activation is imminent, providing numbing relief from the mounting anxiety.
Through IFS therapy, Sarah learns to access Self and relate to these parts differently. She gets curious about her procrastinating manager: "What are you protecting me from?" The manager reveals it's trying to prevent the activation of that ashamed young part.
From Self, Sarah can turn toward the young exile with compassion, offering the acceptance and encouragement that part never received. As the exile heals and releases its burden of shame, the manager no longer needs to protect through procrastination. It might shift into a helpful part that genuinely considers timing and energy before creative projects, rather than avoiding them entirely.
Why IFS Works
Several aspects make IFS particularly effective for healing:
It's Non-Pathologizing IFS doesn't label you as "having" anxiety or depression. Instead, it recognizes that parts of you carry anxiety or depression, often for good reasons based on your experiences. This reframe reduces shame and opens space for change.
It Honors All Parts Nothing about you needs to be eliminated or fixed. Even parts with destructive behaviors developed for protective reasons. When parts feel understood rather than judged, they become willing to change.
It Accesses Natural Healing IFS trusts that you have internal wisdom and healing capacity through Self. The therapist doesn't need to fix you; they help you access your own ability to heal yourself from within.
It Works With Resistance In traditional therapy, resistance is often seen as a problem. In IFS, resistance is just a protective part doing its job. By honoring and understanding that part's concerns, you can move forward without fighting yourself.
It Addresses Root Causes Rather than just managing symptoms, IFS helps heal the underlying wounds that protective parts are reacting to. When exiles are unburdened, symptoms often naturally decrease without direct intervention.
IFS and Trauma Healing
IFS has shown particularly strong outcomes for treating PTSD and complex trauma, with research demonstrating significant reductions in PTSD symptoms and depression among adults with histories of childhood trauma.
Traditional trauma treatments often involve exposure to traumatic memories, which can feel re-traumatizing and overwhelming. IFS takes a gentler approach. Protective parts control the pace, and you only access wounded parts when the internal system feels ready. Self provides an inherent capacity for healing that doesn't require re-experiencing trauma in its full intensity.
This makes IFS especially valuable for people with complex trauma, dissociative symptoms, or high levels of shame who may have struggled with other trauma therapies.
IFS for Different Issues
While IFS was initially developed for trauma work, it's effective for a wide range of concerns:
Anxiety and Depression These are often symptoms of parts in extreme roles. IFS helps identify which parts carry anxiety or depression, what they're protecting, and what needs healing underneath.
Relationship Issues Conflicts in relationships often involve parts getting triggered and taking over. IFS helps you recognize when parts are activated and respond from Self instead, dramatically improving communication and connection.
Addiction and Compulsive Behaviors Understanding these as firefighter parts desperately trying to manage pain creates compassion rather than shame, and addressing underlying wounds reduces the need for these extreme coping strategies.
Perfectionism and Self-Criticism These patterns are typically managers trying to protect you. IFS helps understand what they're afraid of and allows them to relax as underlying wounds heal.
Eating Disorders and Body Image Parts often use food and body control as protection strategies. Healing the underlying wounds these parts protect against allows more flexible, healthy relationships with food and body.
Career and Creative Blocks Procrastination, imposter syndrome, and creative paralysis often involve parts protecting against failure, rejection, or other feared outcomes. Unburdening these fears creates space for authentic expression.
Finding IFS Therapy
If you're interested in exploring IFS, look for therapists specifically trained in this approach. Whether you're seeking a therapist in Austin or prefer the convenience of online therapy in Houston, IFS-informed therapy is increasingly available throughout Texas.
IFS can be practiced in traditional weekly therapy sessions, and many therapists integrate IFS with other approaches. Online therapy in Texas makes IFS accessible regardless of your location, allowing you to do this deep internal work from the comfort and privacy of your own space.
Curious about IFS-informed therapy?
Learn how exploring your inner parts can create meaningful, lasting change. Sessions are available online for individuals and couples anywhere in Texas.
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The ultimate goal of IFS isn't just symptom reduction but Self-leadership in your life. As you practice relating to your parts with curiosity and compassion in therapy, this way of being extends into your daily life.
Self-leadership means:
Noticing when parts are activated rather than being completely taken over by them
Pausing to check in with yourself before reacting
Responding to internal and external conflicts with curiosity rather than judgment
Trusting your inner wisdom to guide decisions
Feeling compassion for yourself and others, even in difficulty
Living authentically rather than from protective strategies
Many people continue using IFS principles long after therapy ends, checking in with parts when they notice strong reactions and maintaining an internal dialogue that keeps their system balanced and Self-led.
The Path Forward
Internal Family Systems therapy offers something many other therapeutic approaches don't: a way to work with yourself that's inherently compassionate, non-judgmental, and hopeful. It recognizes that every part of you, even the ones causing problems, developed for good reasons and deserves understanding rather than elimination.
When you stop fighting parts and start relating to them with curiosity, something remarkable happens. Parts that have been working overtime for years finally feel heard and can relax. Wounds that have been hidden away can finally heal. And the Self that's been there all along can step forward and lead your internal system with wisdom and compassion.
You don't have to figure this out alone. Working with an IFS-trained therapist provides the support and guidance to navigate your internal system safely and effectively. For more information about how IFS might help you, explore research on IFS effectiveness or reach out to a therapist trained in this transformative approach.
Your parts have been working hard to protect you. Maybe it's time to let them know they don't have to work so hard anymore. Maybe it's time to let Self lead.
If you're experiencing a mental health crisis, please call 988 (Suicide and Crisis Lifeline) or contact your nearest emergency room.
