Infidelity Support: Should You Go Alone or as a Couple?
So… something happened. Maybe you found out your partner cheated. Maybe you cheated. Maybe the details are messy or unclear, but things don’t feel the same anymore.
Now you’re stuck wondering what to do next. Should you talk to someone about it? Should you go to therapy on your own, or is this something you’re supposed to work through as a couple?
These are tough questions. And if your heart is all over the place right now, you’re not alone. Many people ask this exact thing when trying to figure out how to move forward after betrayal.
Let’s look at the options—without pressure or judgment—just honest thoughts on how to start feeling less lost.
What Infidelity Support Can Help With
When people hear “infidelity support,” they sometimes assume it’s just couples counseling. But it doesn’t have to be. Infidelity support simply means having a safe space—whether it’s just you or both of you—where you can start sorting through the hurt, confusion, anger, or even hope that might still be hanging on.
Therapy can give you structure, clarity, and a place to feel all the things—without having to carry it alone. And depending on what you need most, you might choose to go solo, together, or even do a mix of both.
Why Some People Start With Individual Therapy
Let’s be real—sometimes it’s just easier to talk to someone alone. Especially if you’re still in shock, unsure about staying in the relationship, or not feeling safe opening up in front of your partner.
Individual infidelity support is a great place to:
Process what happened without censoring yourself
Ask questions you don’t feel ready to say out loud to your partner
Sort through your own thoughts before making big decisions
Explore what healing could look like—whether that means staying, leaving, or still figuring it out
And if you’re the one who cheated? Individual therapy gives you space to unpack why it happened, what it meant (or didn’t mean), and how to take accountability without getting stuck in shame.
Even if you want to stay together, solo therapy can be a huge first step toward showing up more clearly and compassionately in couples work later on.
Why Couples Therapy Can Be a Powerful First Step
Now, if both of you are open to healing together—even if it’s hard or awkward or filled with tension—starting as a couple can be really helpful. There’s something powerful about sitting down in the same space and saying, “Okay, let’s try to figure this out.”
Couples therapy gives you:
A neutral place to talk through the hard stuff
Help expressing things without yelling or shutting down
Support for understanding why the betrayal happened—not just what happened
Tools to start rebuilding trust (even if it feels impossible right now)
If you’re both saying, “We want to fix this, but we don’t know how,” couples therapy gives you a starting point. It’s not about blaming—it’s about learning how to be real with each other again, with someone in the room who can help keep things from spiraling.
What If You Want to Stay Together?
If you both still want the relationship to work, therapy—whether individual, couples, or both—can absolutely help. In fact, many couples start with one format and move into the other over time.
You might begin with individual sessions to sort through personal stuff like trauma, guilt, or anger. Then, once you’ve both had some space to process, you come together and start working on the relationship itself.
Or maybe you start as a couple right away and add in occasional solo sessions along the way. There’s no right or wrong here—it just depends on what feels best for where you’re both at.
The bottom line? If you both want to rebuild, it’s okay to take your time and find the path that fits you—not what anyone else says is “supposed” to happen.
Not Sure Which to Choose? Start Here.
Still on the fence about how to begin? Totally normal. This stuff is hard and emotional and messy. Here are a few gentle questions to think about:
Do I feel safe and ready to talk openly in front of my partner?
Do we both want to work through this, or is one of us unsure?
Am I more focused on healing myself right now, or repairing the relationship?
Would it help to have a space that’s just for me—for now?
No matter how you answer, you’re not doing this wrong. Some people switch between solo and couples therapy. Some never do couples therapy at all. What matters is finding support that feels like a good fit for you.
Why Some People Do Both Individual and Couples Therapy at the Same Time
Sometimes, the best way to heal after infidelity isn’t choosing between individual or couples therapy—it’s doing both. And honestly? That can be one of the healthiest, most balanced approaches when you’re trying to repair trust and move forward.
Here’s how it works: Each partner sees their individual therapist separately, and then the couple also meets with a different therapist specializing in relationship/couples work. So you’re not trying to unpack all your private emotions in front of your partner, and you’re not trying to solve relationship problems alone.
In individual sessions, you can process things like personal trauma, grief, anxiety, or shame without having to protect your partner’s feelings. You get space to explore what’s coming up for you—and start better to understand your reactions, patterns, and needs.
At the same time, couples therapy becomes the shared space where both of you work on communication, boundaries, trust, and healing the relationship. It’s where you learn to have the hard conversations without shutting down—or blowing up. It’s also where a therapist can help you stay focused on repair, even when emotions are running high.
Doing both doesn’t mean things are worse—it actually shows a deep commitment to healing as individuals and as a team. It gives you room to breathe, reflect, and grow without carrying the full weight of recovery in just one setting.
For many couples, this two-track approach creates a stronger foundation for long-term change: you’re both doing your inner work and learning how to show up for each other differently.
Infidelity Support That Fits Your Schedule
Here at Sagebrush Counseling, we know life doesn’t stop just because your relationship is in crisis. That’s why we offer evening and weekend sessions for individuals and couples across Texas—so you can get support without rearranging your entire life.
Whether you want to come in alone or together, there’s space here for all of it: the heartbreak, the confusion, the love that might still be there, the questions you don’t have answers to yet.
Reach out today to schedule your first session or free consult. We’ll start wherever you are.
