Is Ethical Non-Monogamy Right For You? Quiz

Is Ethical Non-Monogamy Right For You?

Explore whether an ENM relationship style aligns with your values, needs, and capabilities

Professional Disclaimer: This quiz is designed for educational and self-exploration purposes only. It cannot definitively determine whether ethical non-monogamy is right for you. Relationship choices are deeply personal and complex. If you're considering ENM, especially within an existing relationship, please consider speaking with a therapist who specializes in alternative relationship structures.

Question 1 of 20

1

How comfortable are you communicating openly about difficult emotions and needs?

Very comfortable - I can discuss anything openly and directly

Somewhat comfortable - I can do it but it takes effort

Uncomfortable - I struggle with vulnerable conversations

Very uncomfortable - I avoid difficult conversations

2

How do you experience jealousy in relationships?

Minimal jealousy - I can process it constructively when it arises

Moderate jealousy - I feel it but can work through it

Strong jealousy - It's difficult and overwhelming for me

Intense jealousy - I become very insecure and struggle to cope

3

How important is having one exclusive romantic/sexual partner to you?

Not important - I'm open to multiple connections

Somewhat important - I could consider alternatives

Very important - Exclusivity feels necessary for intimacy

Extremely important - I can't imagine non-monogamy working for me

4

How do you feel about your partner(s) having intimate connections with others?

Positive or neutral - I can feel happy for them (compersion)

Somewhat accepting - I could work through the discomfort

Very uncomfortable - It would cause significant distress

Extremely painful - I can't imagine tolerating it

5

How secure do you feel in your relationships?

Very secure - I trust my worth and my partner's commitment

Mostly secure - Occasional doubts but generally stable

Somewhat insecure - I often worry about abandonment or comparison

Very insecure - I need constant reassurance and struggle with trust

6

How comfortable are you managing your time between multiple relationships?

Very comfortable - I manage time and commitments well

Somewhat comfortable - I could learn to balance it

Uncomfortable - I struggle with time management already

Very uncomfortable - I feel overwhelmed easily

7

Why are you considering ethical non-monogamy?

It aligns with my authentic values and relationship philosophy

I'm curious and want to explore different relationship styles

My partner wants it and I'm trying to accommodate them

I'm hoping it will fix problems in my current relationship

8

How do you handle conflict and disagreements in relationships?

Directly and constructively - I address issues head-on

Generally well - I can work through most conflicts

With difficulty - Conflict is very stressful for me

Poorly - I avoid conflict or become overwhelmed by it

9

How important is autonomy and independence in your relationships?

Very important - I value being my own person

Somewhat important - I balance autonomy with togetherness

Less important - I prefer more merged/enmeshed relationships

Not important - I want to share everything with my partner

10

Can you set and maintain clear boundaries in relationships?

Yes, easily and consistently

Usually - I can set boundaries though it takes effort

With difficulty - I struggle to maintain boundaries

No - I have trouble setting or keeping boundaries

11

How do you respond to your partner spending intimate time with someone else?

I could feel secure and even happy for them

Initial discomfort but I could process and adjust

Significant anxiety and distress

Extreme pain, betrayal, or panic

12

How well can you process and communicate your emotions?

Very well - I'm emotionally aware and articulate

Fairly well - I can identify and express most feelings

With difficulty - I struggle to understand or express emotions

Poorly - I'm often confused by my emotions and can't communicate them

13

Do you see love as a finite resource or something that can expand?

Love expands - loving others doesn't diminish what I have

Somewhat expandable - I can see both perspectives

Mostly finite - Time and energy are limited

Definitely finite - True love can only exist with one person

14

How comfortable are you with ambiguity and non-traditional relationship structures?

Very comfortable - I embrace flexibility and creating my own path

Somewhat comfortable - I can handle some uncertainty

Uncomfortable - I prefer clear, traditional structures

Very uncomfortable - I need clear definitions and rules

15

How important is it to you what others think about your relationship?

Not important - I prioritize my own values over social approval

Somewhat important - I care but can handle judgment

Very important - I worry about judgment and stigma

Extremely important - I need social approval and acceptance

16

Can you feel fulfilled if your partner has needs met by someone else?

Yes - I'm glad they have diverse sources of support

Mostly - As long as core needs are met in our relationship

Difficult - I want to be the person who meets their needs

No - I need to be my partner's primary source of fulfillment

17

How well do you handle complex scheduling and coordination?

Very well - I'm organized and can juggle multiple commitments

Fairly well - I can manage with some effort

With difficulty - Complex schedules stress me out

Poorly - I get overwhelmed by too many commitments

18

Are you interested in personal growth and challenging yourself emotionally?

Very much - I actively seek growth opportunities

Somewhat - I'm open to growth when it happens

Not particularly - I prefer stability and comfort

Not at all - I avoid emotional challenges

19

If you're in a relationship considering opening up, is it currently healthy and stable?

Very healthy - We have strong communication and trust

Generally healthy - Some issues but fundamentally solid

Struggling - We have significant problems to work through

Unhealthy - We're hoping ENM will improve things / I'm single

20

Overall, how aligned does ethical non-monogamy feel with your authentic self?

Very aligned - It resonates deeply with who I am

Somewhat aligned - I'm genuinely curious to explore it

Not very aligned - I'm doing this for someone else

Not aligned - This feels wrong for me but I'm pressured

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Professional Support for Exploring Relationship Styles

Whether you're exploring ENM, transitioning an existing relationship, or navigating challenges in non-monogamy, professional guidance can be invaluable.

Individual Therapy Can Help With:

• Exploring your authentic relationship values
• Understanding and managing jealousy
• Building emotional regulation skills
• Processing insecurities and attachment patterns
• Developing stronger communication skills
• Clarifying your needs and boundaries
• Navigating identity and social stigma

Couples Counseling Can Address:

• Opening up an existing relationship safely
• Creating agreements and boundaries together
• Improving communication about difficult topics
• Ensuring both partners' needs are considered
• Navigating jealousy and insecurity as a team
• Processing conflicts that arise
• Building a strong foundation before opening

Finding a therapist who is knowledgeable about and affirming of ethical non-monogamy is important. Look for professionals who understand alternative relationship structures and won't pathologize your choices.

Schedule a Consultation

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