Sometimes it’s hard to know if what you’re feeling is just everyday frustration or something deeper that hasn’t healed. This quiz is designed to give you a snapshot of where you and your relationship might stand right now. It’s not about labeling you or saying your relationship is “good” or “bad.” Instead, it’s about noticing patterns—are you still holding onto past hurts, or are you starting to lean into openness and repair? Think of it as a mirror: it reflects back what might already be stirring inside, so you and your partner can talk about it with more clarity.

When Therapy Can Support Healing and Rebuilding Trust

If you take the quiz and realize that resentment is still lingering, that doesn’t mean your relationship is over—it means you’ve identified an area that deserves care. Resentment often builds when hurts aren’t acknowledged or when couples try to push past conflict without truly repairing it. Therapy offers a space to slow down, revisit those stuck places, and learn how to reconnect without brushing pain under the rug. With the right support, couples can move from feeling stuck in old patterns to building trust and intimacy again. You don’t have to carry the weight of resentment alone—therapy can help you lay it down and create space for real closeness.

Are You Still Carrying Resentment—or Ready to Reconnect?

Discover where you stand on your journey from hurt to healing

Disclaimer: This quiz is for educational and self-reflection purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional mental health diagnosis or treatment. If you're experiencing significant relationship difficulties or emotional distress, please consult with a qualified mental health professional.

Question 1 of 20

When you think about past conflicts with your partner, what is your dominant feeling?

I feel ready to move forward and focus on building our future together I feel mostly healed with occasional pangs of hurt that I can manage I feel conflicted - wanting to move on but still carrying significant hurt I still feel angry, hurt, or bitter when I think about what happened

How often do you find yourself bringing up past hurts during current conversations or arguments?

Rarely or never - I focus on the present issue at hand Occasionally, but I usually catch myself and refocus on the current situation Sometimes - past issues seem to creep into present discussions Frequently - I often reference past hurts to make my point

When your partner tries to be affectionate or show love, how do you typically respond?

I receive it warmly and am able to be fully present and responsive I generally respond positively, though sometimes I need a moment to be open I want to respond well but sometimes feel guarded or hesitant I often feel resistant, suspicious, or emotionally distant

How willing are you to be vulnerable and open with your partner about your current feelings?

Very willing - I feel safe being emotionally open and honest Mostly willing, though I choose my moments carefully Somewhat hesitant - I want to be open but feel protective of myself Very guarded - I don't feel safe being vulnerable right now

When you imagine your relationship's future, what do you see?

A positive future where we've grown stronger through our challenges A hopeful future, though I know we have more work to do together Uncertainty - sometimes hopeful, sometimes worried about our ability to heal Doubt or pessimism about whether we can truly repair and reconnect

How much mental energy do you spend replaying past conflicts or hurts?

Very little - I've processed the past and focus on the present Occasionally, but I can redirect my thoughts when they go there A moderate amount - these thoughts come up regularly A lot - I find myself frequently ruminating on what happened

When your partner makes an effort to repair or improve your relationship, how do you respond?

I appreciate and actively engage with their efforts I recognize their efforts and try to meet them halfway I notice but sometimes struggle to trust or respond fully I'm skeptical or resistant to their attempts to reconnect

How do you feel about forgiveness in your relationship?

I've genuinely forgiven and feel free from the burden of past hurts I'm in the process of forgiving and making good progress I want to forgive but find it challenging to fully let go I'm not ready to forgive or don't feel forgiveness is deserved yet

When you have positive moments with your partner, what thoughts go through your mind?

I enjoy them fully and feel grateful for our connection I enjoy them while hoping we can have more moments like this I feel conflicted - enjoying the moment but also feeling cautious I have trouble enjoying them because I'm reminded of how things have been

How much do you trust your partner's intentions and efforts toward you now?

I trust them and believe they have good intentions My trust is rebuilding and I'm optimistic about their intentions I want to trust them but still feel cautious or uncertain I struggle to trust their intentions or question their sincerity

How willing are you to invest time and energy into rebuilding your relationship?

Very willing - I'm committed to doing the work needed to rebuild Willing to invest effort, though I want to see mutual commitment Somewhat willing but feeling tired or unsure about the process Reluctant to invest more energy without significant changes first

When discussing the future, how much hope do you feel about your relationship?

I feel genuinely hopeful and excited about our potential I feel cautiously optimistic about what we can build together I have mixed feelings - some hope but also worry I feel little hope or doubt that things can really change

How do you handle triggers or reminders of past relationship conflicts?

I acknowledge them but they don't significantly impact my mood or behavior I notice them but can usually cope and refocus on the present They still affect me but I'm working on managing my reactions They strongly impact my emotions and often change how I interact with my partner

How comfortable are you with physical intimacy and closeness with your partner?

Very comfortable - physical closeness feels natural and healing Mostly comfortable, though I sometimes need to ease into it Somewhat comfortable but sometimes feel hesitant or disconnected Uncomfortable or resistant to physical closeness right now

When your partner expresses remorse or tries to make amends, how does it feel to you?

It feels genuine and helps me feel more connected to them It feels meaningful and I appreciate their efforts to repair It feels nice but I'm not sure if it's enough or will last It feels hollow, too little too late, or like they're just going through the motions

How often do you find yourself wanting to "punish" your partner or make them pay for past hurts?

Rarely or never - I don't feel the need to punish them Occasionally these thoughts come up, but I don't act on them Sometimes I feel this way and might act cold or distant Often - I find myself wanting them to hurt the way I've hurt

How much do you focus on your partner's positive changes and growth versus their past mistakes?

I primarily focus on their positive changes and current efforts I notice and appreciate their growth while still processing the past I try to focus on the positive but often get pulled back to past hurts I find it hard to see past their mistakes and focus more on what they've done wrong

How willing are you to take emotional risks and be vulnerable in your relationship again?

Very willing - I'm ready to be open and take emotional risks Willing to try, though I want to take it step by step Hesitant but open to the possibility with time and proof of change Very reluctant - I feel too hurt to risk being vulnerable again

When you think about the lessons learned from your relationship struggles, how do you feel?

Grateful for the growth and stronger bond that resulted from working through challenges Appreciative of what we've learned and hopeful about applying these lessons Mixed feelings - some growth but also sadness about what we went through Bitter or regretful - wishing these struggles hadn't been necessary

Overall, where do you feel you are in your healing and reconnection journey?

I feel healed and ready to fully reconnect and move forward together I'm well on my way to healing and feel optimistic about reconnecting I'm somewhere in the middle - making progress but still have significant healing to do I'm still carrying heavy resentment and feel far from being ready to reconnect

Your Healing Journey

Healing and Reconnection Support

Couples Healing & Forgiveness Work

Guided forgiveness and resentment processing
Rebuilding trust and emotional safety
Learning healthy conflict resolution
Creating new positive relationship patterns
Developing deeper empathy and understanding
Strengthening emotional intimacy and connection

Individual Healing Support

Processing and releasing resentment
Trauma-informed healing approaches
Building emotional regulation skills
Developing healthy boundaries
Cultivating self-compassion and forgiveness
Preparing for healthier relationships

Whether you're ready to reconnect or still working through resentment, healing is possible. Professional support can guide you through this journey, helping you find peace and build stronger, healthier relationships.

Schedule a Counseling Session

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