What to Do When a Friend Ghosts You
So, your friend ghosted you? It’s painful, but it doesn’t have to define you. Here’s how to deal with the situation and move forward.
"My Friend Ghosted Me—What Does It Mean?"
We’ve all been there: one day, your friend is there, and the next, poof—they’re gone. No explanation, no word, no nothing. You’re left in the dark, wondering what went wrong, and “Why did my friend ghost me?” It’s a tough pill to swallow, especially when it's a close friend or, worst of all, a best friend.
It’s easy to think it’s something you did, but in reality, ghosting doesn’t always have to do with you. People change, priorities shift, and sometimes, people ghost because they don’t know how to handle things, or they might be struggling with their own stuff. It’s more about where they are than where you are. And, honestly, sometimes people just don’t have the emotional capacity to explain why they’re pulling away.
People Change—And So Do Friendships
Here’s something I’ve learned the hard way: Friendships change. I’ve been in your shoes. One of my best friends ghosted me, and I felt blindsided. I was hurt, frustrated, and honestly, pretty angry. But then I had to face the truth: people don’t ghost those they truly value.
It wasn’t about me—it was about them, and how they saw our friendship. If someone can just disappear without a word, maybe they never really valued the relationship the way I did. I had to ask myself, “If someone can walk away that easily, was it really a true friendship to begin with?”
In the end, it didn’t matter how much I valued the friendship. If someone is ghosting you, it often means they don’t see things the same way anymore. And that’s a tough realization.
Should I Reach Out to a Friend Who Ghosted Me?
One of the hardest questions after being ghosted is “Should I reach out to a friend who ghosted me?” It makes sense that you’d want closure or to at least understand what happened. But reaching out can sometimes lead to more pain, especially if they’ve already shown they’re not willing to engage.
If you do reach out, be prepared for the possibility that you might not get the answers you want. If someone has already ghosted you, they might not be open to explaining themselves or might give you an answer that doesn’t satisfy you. However, if you feel like reaching out, do it with an open heart and a sense of curiosity—not desperation.
"Should I Block a Friend Who Ghosted Me?"
It’s normal to feel hurt and angry after a friend ghosts you, and it might make you want to block them right away. But here’s the thing: blocking can close a door you might not want shut permanently. If you block a friend, you’re cutting off any possibility of reconciliation or communication down the line.
Instead of jumping to block, take a step back. Think about the relationship, what it meant to you, and if this is someone you even want back in your life. If the answer is yes, give it some time, and allow yourself to heal without cutting them off completely.
Moving On After Ghosting
If my best friend ghosted me, I’d probably be devastated. But after going through it a few times, I realized something—friendships can fade naturally, and that’s okay. It doesn’t mean you weren’t a good friend, it just means they no longer saw the relationship the same way. And that’s not your fault.
It might be tough to process, especially if it’s someone you’ve shared a lot with, but remember—it’s their loss, not yours. Friends don’t ghost you and betray you—that’s what strangers do. If they’ve ghosted you, then maybe it’s time to stop holding onto a friendship that wasn’t as solid as you thought.
How to Cope With It
It’s natural to feel a deep sense of loss when a friend disappears, especially if they’ve been a part of your life for a long time. But it’s important to remember that your value isn’t tied to their actions. You are worthy of friends who show up, who communicate, and who value you.
Here’s how to cope:
Reflect on the relationship: What was good? What was bad? Did this friendship bring you joy or stress?
Lean on your other relationships: Spend time with people who care about you and make an effort to connect.
Take care of yourself: Focus on your own well-being, and let go of the need for validation from someone who isn’t willing to give it.
Find new connections: Sometimes, ghosting is a chance to make room for healthier friendships.
Letting Go
At the end of the day, if a friend has ghosted you, let it go. It’s hard, it’s painful, but you don’t need to chase after people who aren’t willing to be there for you. "Friends don’t ghost you, only strangers do"—and if you’ve lost a stranger, it’s not as big of a deal as it may feel in the moment.
Your worth is not dependent on anyone’s response. Keep moving forward, and trust that the people who truly value you will make an effort to show up.
Counseling for Friendships: Healing and Moving Forward
Navigating friendship issues—whether it’s ghosting, betrayal, or a simple drifting apart—can leave you feeling confused, hurt, and unsure of how to heal. If you’re struggling with the emotional fallout from a ghosted friendship, counseling for friendships can be a helpful space to explore your feelings and process what happened.
In therapy, we can work together to help you:
Understand the dynamics that led to the ghosting and how it reflects on you as a person
Heal from the emotional pain of being left behind
Set boundaries for future relationships and learn how to protect your emotional well-being
Rebuild trust in relationships moving forward, whether it's with new friends or existing ones
Sometimes, having a third-party perspective on friendship struggles can provide clarity, healing, and insight into how to move on or, when appropriate, repair the relationship.
If you’re in Texas, I offer individual counseling that can help you work through feelings of betrayal, loneliness, or confusion after being ghosted. Together, we can create a plan for healing that fits your emotional needs.
