Why Am I Single? Take This Quiz
So you're probably here because you've been asking yourself this question while scrolling through social media seeing everyone's couple photos, or after another disappointing date, or just lying in bed at 3 AM wondering what's "wrong" with you. First thing I want you to know? There's probably nothing wrong with you at all. I know that might be hard to believe right now, especially if you've been single longer than you'd like or if people keep asking you "So, are you seeing anyone?" like being single is some kind of medical condition that needs treating. But here's what I've learned from years of working with people: sometimes being single is exactly where you need to be, and sometimes there are patterns worth exploring.
The thing about asking "Why am I single?" is that it can come from two very different places. Sometimes it's genuine curiosity about your relationship patterns, and sometimes it's society making you feel like you should be partnered up to be complete. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, about 50% of adults are single, and that number keeps growing.
Self-Reflection Questions That Matter
If you want to understand your relationship patterns better, here are some questions worth thinking about. And I mean really thinking about - maybe journal about them or talk them through with a therapist.
What do you actually want in a relationship, versus what you think you should want? Are you looking for partnership because you genuinely want to share your life with someone, or because you feel like you should be?
When you think about your past relationships or dating experiences, what patterns do you notice? Do you tend to lose interest when people are really available? Do you get anxious and clingy? Do you find fault with everyone? Do you attract the same type of person over and over?
How do you feel about yourself when you're alone? If you're not comfortable with your own company, that might be something to work on regardless of your relationship status.
What fears come up when you think about being in a relationship? Fear of getting hurt? Fear of losing your independence? Fear of being controlled? Fear of having to be vulnerable?
These aren't easy questions, and there's no rush to answer them. Sometimes it takes time and maybe some therapy to really understand your own patterns.
Why Am I Single?
Explore your relationship patterns and discover insights about your dating life and readiness for connection
Crisis Support: If you're having thoughts of self-harm or suicide, please reach out for immediate help:
• National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 988 or 1-800-273-8255
• Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741
• Emergency Services: Call 911
• International Crisis Lines: Visit findahelpline.com
How Professional Support Can Help
Individual Counseling
- Build self-confidence and self-worth
- Address past relationship patterns and trauma
- Develop healthy communication and dating skills
- Work through fears of intimacy or commitment
- Explore personal goals and relationship readiness
Dating & Relationship Coaching
- Learn effective dating and social skills
- Identify and change unhelpful dating patterns
- Build confidence in meeting new people
- Set healthy boundaries and expectations
- Prepare for healthy, lasting relationships
Ready to Explore Your Relationship Journey?
Whether you're happy being single or looking to prepare for a relationship, professional support can help you build confidence, heal from past experiences, and create the love life you desire.
Schedule Your ConsultationReferences
U.S. Census Bureau. (2023). America's Families and Living Arrangements. Retrieved from https://www.census.gov/topics/families/families-and-households.html
American Psychological Association. (2024). Single in America: Research on Single Adults. Retrieved from https://www.apa.org/science/about/psa/2015/05/single-adults
