Alexithymia: Examples and the Matching Need
Quick, skimmable pairs you can use in therapy or at home.
Example
“During conflict I can’t find the word for what I feel.”
Need
Pause time + a feeling-word bank (emotion wheel within reach).
Example
“I notice tight chest / stomach knots but can’t name the emotion.”
Need
Interoception map (where/what intensity) → then label with 1–2 feeling words.
Example
“My partner asks what’s wrong and I freeze or say ‘I don’t know.’”
Need
Script + processing time (“I need 10–20 minutes; I’m noticing ___; I think I need ___.”)
Example
“My feelings show up as irritation or shutdown instead of words.”
Need
Regulation first (paced exhale, 3-minute walk) → then name/ask.
Example
“After a fight I feel numb, not sad, and don’t know what to say.”
Need
Gentle activation + safety cues (warmth, soft lighting, weighted throw) before repair talk.
Tip: Pair each “Need” with a tiny ritual (timer, script card, emotion wheel, or body map) so it’s easy to use when stressed.