Imago Relationship Worksheet

Imago Relationship Worksheet

Discover your unconscious relationship patterns and create more conscious, loving connections through Imago Relationship Therapy principles

This worksheet is designed for educational purposes only.

Partner 1 Self-Discovery

Childhood Caregivers & Early Relationships

Understanding your early relationships helps identify your unconscious relationship template (Imago).

Primary Caregivers

Caregiver 1 (e.g., mother, father, guardian):

Positive traits I loved about this person:

Negative traits that hurt or frustrated me:

Caregiver 2:

Positive traits I loved about this person:

Negative traits that hurt or frustrated me:

Childhood Emotional Needs

Rate how well these needs were met in your childhood (1 = rarely met, 5 = consistently met):

Feeling safe and secure:
Being heard and understood:
Feeling valued and appreciated:
Having autonomy and choice:
Receiving affection and love:
Reflection: What unmet childhood needs do you still long for in your adult relationships?

My Imago (Unconscious Relationship Template)

Your Imago is a composite image of your early caregivers' traits that unconsciously guides your partner selection.

Imago Portrait

Looking at your childhood caregivers' traits (both positive and negative), create a combined list:

Positive traits from my caregivers that I'm drawn to in partners:

Negative traits from my caregivers that I somehow end up with in partners:

Partner Selection Patterns

My current/most recent partner reminds me of because .

Ways my partner is similar to my caregivers:

Ways my partner is different from my caregivers:

Insight: How has your Imago influenced your relationship choices? What patterns do you notice?

Core Wounds & Adaptations

Identifying your core wounds helps understand your reactive patterns and what you need for healing.

Core Wound Identification

Select your primary core wound(s):

My deepest wound story:

Childhood Adaptations

How did you adapt to survive your childhood wounds?

To protect myself from , I learned to .

My childhood survival strategies were:

How these adaptations show up in my current relationship:

Healing Insight: What would you need from your partner to feel safe enough to heal this wound?

Relationship Triggers & Reactions

Understanding your triggers helps you respond more consciously rather than reactively.

What Triggers Me

When my partner does this, I get triggered:

My typical reactions when triggered are:

Trigger Analysis

When my partner , the story I tell myself is and I feel .

This trigger reminds me of:

What I really need when I'm triggered:

Conscious Response Practice

Instead of my typical reaction, I could try:

My self-soothing toolkit includes:

My Gifts & Growth Edges

Recognizing your strengths and growth areas helps you contribute consciously to your relationship.

What I Bring to the Relationship

My strengths and gifts include:

Ways I show love and care:

Growth Edges

Areas where I want to grow in this relationship:

What I'm learning about myself through this relationship:

Intention Setting: How do you want to show up more consciously in your relationship?

Partner 2 Self-Discovery

Childhood Caregivers & Early Relationships

Understanding your early relationships helps identify your unconscious relationship template (Imago).

Primary Caregivers

Caregiver 1 (e.g., mother, father, guardian):

Positive traits I loved about this person:

Negative traits that hurt or frustrated me:

Caregiver 2:

Positive traits I loved about this person:

Negative traits that hurt or frustrated me:

Childhood Emotional Needs

Rate how well these needs were met in your childhood (1 = rarely met, 5 = consistently met):

Feeling safe and secure:
Being heard and understood:
Feeling valued and appreciated:
Having autonomy and choice:
Receiving affection and love:
Reflection: What unmet childhood needs do you still long for in your adult relationships?

My Imago (Unconscious Relationship Template)

Your Imago is a composite image of your early caregivers' traits that unconsciously guides your partner selection.

Imago Portrait

Looking at your childhood caregivers' traits (both positive and negative), create a combined list:

Positive traits from my caregivers that I'm drawn to in partners:

Negative traits from my caregivers that I somehow end up with in partners:

Partner Selection Patterns

My current/most recent partner reminds me of because .

Ways my partner is similar to my caregivers:

Ways my partner is different from my caregivers:

Insight: How has your Imago influenced your relationship choices? What patterns do you notice?

Core Wounds & Adaptations

Identifying your core wounds helps understand your reactive patterns and what you need for healing.

Core Wound Identification

Select your primary core wound(s):

My deepest wound story:

Childhood Adaptations

How did you adapt to survive your childhood wounds?

To protect myself from , I learned to .

My childhood survival strategies were:

How these adaptations show up in my current relationship:

Healing Insight: What would you need from your partner to feel safe enough to heal this wound?

Relationship Triggers & Reactions

Understanding your triggers helps you respond more consciously rather than reactively.

What Triggers Me

When my partner does this, I get triggered:

My typical reactions when triggered are:

Trigger Analysis

When my partner , the story I tell myself is and I feel .

This trigger reminds me of:

What I really need when I'm triggered:

Conscious Response Practice

Instead of my typical reaction, I could try:

My self-soothing toolkit includes:

My Gifts & Growth Edges

Recognizing your strengths and growth areas helps you contribute consciously to your relationship.

What I Bring to the Relationship

My strengths and gifts include:

Ways I show love and care:

Growth Edges

Areas where I want to grow in this relationship:

What I'm learning about myself through this relationship:

Intention Setting: How do you want to show up more consciously in your relationship?

Couples Exercises

The Imago Dialogue Process

This is the core communication tool of Imago Therapy. Practice this structure for deeper understanding.

1Mirroring

Sender: Share your feelings using "I" statements (1-2 sentences)

Receiver: "What I heard you say is... Did I get that right?"

Sender: Confirm or clarify. Continue until fully heard.

2Validation

Receiver: "You make sense to me because..." or "I can understand that..."

(You don't have to agree, just acknowledge their perspective makes sense)

3Empathy

Receiver: "I imagine you might be feeling... Is that what you're feeling?"

Sender: Confirm or correct the emotions

Practice Topic: Choose a minor conflict or misunderstanding to practice the dialogue process.

Sharing Your Imago Discoveries

Take turns sharing insights from your individual worksheets. Listen without judgment or advice-giving.

Partner 1 Shares (15 minutes):

  • My core wound and how it shows up in our relationship
  • What triggers me and why
  • What I need from you to feel safe and loved
  • How you help me grow and heal

Partner 2 Listens and Responds:

What I heard that surprised me:

How I want to support your healing:

Now Switch Roles

Partner 2 shares for 15 minutes, Partner 1 listens and responds.

Partner 1 - What I heard that surprised me:

Partner 1 - How I want to support your healing:

Relationship Vision & Commitments

Create a shared vision for your conscious relationship.

Our Relationship Vision

Together, we want to create a relationship that feels:

Our shared values and priorities are:

We commit to growing in these areas:

Healing Gifts Exchange

Based on your partner's core wounds and needs, commit to specific healing behaviors.

Partner 1 commits to giving Partner 2:

Partner 2 commits to giving Partner 1:

Weekly Relationship Check-In

Create a ritual for ongoing conscious relationship maintenance.

We commit to a weekly check-in every:

Our check-in will include:

Print Worksheet

Use the print function to create a physical copy of your completed worksheet.

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DBT skills