Self-Compassion Practice Development
A Therapeutic Worksheet for Building Kindness Toward Yourself
Part 1: Current Self-Compassion Assessment
Self-compassion involves treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a good friend during difficult times. This assessment will help you understand your current relationship with self-compassion and develop practical skills for greater self-kindness.
1. How do you typically respond to yourself when you make mistakes or face difficulties?
2. What would change in your life if you were more compassionate toward yourself?
3. What makes it difficult for you to be kind to yourself?
Fear that self-compassion will make me lazy or unmotivated
Belief that I don't deserve kindness or understanding
Worry that being kind to myself is selfish or self-indulgent
Learned patterns of self-criticism from family or culture
Perfectionist tendencies and high standards
Feeling like I need to "earn" self-compassion through achievement
Uncertainty about what self-compassion actually looks like
Fear of becoming complacent or accepting mediocrity
4. How do you typically treat a close friend when they're struggling or make a mistake?
THE THREE COMPONENTS OF SELF-COMPASSION
Based on Dr. Kristin Neff's research
1. Self-Kindness
Being warm and understanding toward yourself rather than harshly critical when you suffer or fail.
2. Common Humanity
Recognizing that suffering and imperfection are part of the shared human experience, not just yours.
3. Mindfulness
Observing your thoughts and feelings with balanced awareness rather than over-identifying with them.
Part 2: Self-Compassion Skills Assessment
Rate your current ability in each area of self-compassion:
Very Poor
Poor
Fair
Good
Excellent
12345
Part 3: Developing Self-Compassion Components
Practice applying each component of self-compassion to your personal experiences.
Self-Kindness Practice
What would you say to a good friend facing your current challenge?
How can you speak to yourself with that same kindness?
Common Humanity Practice
How might others experience similar struggles to yours?
How does this connect you to others rather than isolate you?
Mindfulness Practice
What difficult thoughts and emotions are you experiencing right now?
How can you acknowledge these feelings without being consumed by them?
Part 4: Self-Compassion Techniques and Practices
Explore different self-compassion techniques. Check the ones you'd like to try and note your experiences.
Self-Compassion Break
Place hand on heart and acknowledge pain
Say "This is a moment of suffering"
Remind yourself "I'm not alone in this"
Offer yourself kind words: "May I be kind to myself"
Self-Compassionate Letter Writing
Write about your struggle from a compassionate perspective
Acknowledge your pain without minimizing it
Remind yourself of your common humanity
Offer yourself encouragement and support
Loving-Kindness Meditation
Start with wishes for your own well-being
"May I be happy, may I be healthy"
"May I be safe, may I be at peace"
Extend wishes to loved ones, then all beings
Self-Compassionate Touch
Place hands on heart during difficult moments
Give yourself a gentle hug
Stroke your arm or face gently
Hold your own hands with kindness
Reframing Self-Critical Thoughts
Notice when inner critic becomes active
Ask "What would I tell a friend?"
Reframe criticism as learning opportunity
Focus on growth rather than judgment
Self-Compassion Mantras
"I am learning and growing"
"It's okay to make mistakes"
"I deserve love and kindness"
"This feeling will pass"
Part 5: Personal Self-Compassion Practice Plan
5. Which 3 self-compassion techniques from above would you like to practice regularly?
| Technique | When/How You'll Practice | Expected Benefits |
|---|---|---|
6. Create 3 personal self-compassion phrases that feel authentic to you:
Phrase 1:
When to use it:
Phrase 2:
When to use it:
Phrase 3:
When to use it:
Part 6: Self-Compassion in Challenging Situations
Practice applying self-compassion to specific difficult situations in your life.
Situation 1: A Recent Mistake or Failure
Describe the situation:
How did you treat yourself afterward?
Self-compassionate response (what you could say to yourself):
Situation 2: Current Life Challenge or Stress
Describe the challenge:
Apply the three components:
Specific self-compassion practice you could use:
Situation 3: Something You're Critical About in Yourself
What aspect of yourself do you tend to criticize?
How could you reframe this with compassion and common humanity?
Kind words you could offer yourself:
Part 7: Daily Self-Compassion Practice Log
Track your self-compassion practice for one week to build consistency.
| Day | Practice Used | Situation/Context | How It Felt (1-5) | What You Learned |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Monday | ||||
| Tuesday | ||||
| Wednesday | ||||
| Thursday | ||||
| Friday | ||||
| Saturday | ||||
| Sunday |
Part 8: Progress Assessment
After practicing for a week, rate your progress in developing self-compassion:
No Improvement
Slight Improvement
Moderate Improvement
Good Improvement
Significant Improvement
12345
Self-Compassion Maintenance Plan
7. How will you continue developing self-compassion beyond this week?
8. What reminders or cues will help you remember to practice self-compassion?
9. How will you know when you need extra self-compassion support?
Key Takeaway
Remember: Self-compassion is not self-pity, self-indulgence, or making excuses. It's about treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a good friend. Research shows that self-compassion actually increases motivation, resilience, and emotional well-being. Like any skill, it takes practice to develop. Be patient with yourself as you learn to be more compassionate - that patience itself is an act of self-compassion.