Codependency isn’t about being “too caring”, it’s about losing your sense of self in the process of caring for others. It often begins as empathy or loyalty but can turn into self-neglect, guilt, or over-functioning in relationships. This quiz can help you reflect on your patterns and whether you might be prioritizing others’ well-being over your own.

What Codependency Can Look Like

Many people with codependent traits describe feeling needed but not truly seen. You might struggle to make decisions without someone else’s input or feel responsible for keeping the peace—even when it costs you your emotional energy.

Signs of codependency can include:

Constantly worrying about others’ moods or reactions.
Feeling guilty when you say no.
Avoiding conflict at all costs.
Defining your worth by how useful or accommodating you are.
Feeling anxious when others pull away or need space.

Recognizing these patterns isn’t about shame—it’s about understanding where they come from so you can begin to heal.

The Quiz: Are You Codependent?

This short quiz will help you explore your relationship patterns and emotional boundaries. You’ll get a sense of whether you’re:

Highly Codependent: You often prioritize others’ needs over your own and feel responsible for their emotions.
Somewhat Codependent: You’re self-aware but still struggle to hold boundaries or feel guilty for doing so.
Interdependently Balanced: You value closeness but maintain a healthy sense of individuality.

Your answers may help you identify which areas of your relationships could use more balance or self-compassion.

How Therapy Can Help You Find Balance

Therapy can help you:

Understand where your people-pleasing tendencies come from.
Develop healthier boundaries without losing connection.
Learn to tolerate discomfort when others are upset.
Build self-worth that isn’t based on helping or fixing.
Reconnect with your own identity, interests, and needs.

Healing codependency isn’t about becoming less kind, it’s about learning to include yourself in the circle of care.

Are You Codependent? Quiz

Are You Codependent?

Disclaimer: This quiz is designed to help you reflect on codependent patterns in your relationships. Codependency involves prioritizing others' needs over your own, difficulty setting boundaries, and deriving self-worth from taking care of others. This assessment is for educational purposes only and is not a diagnostic tool. If you recognize these patterns, professional counseling can help you develop healthier relationship dynamics.

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How often do you say "yes" when you really want to say "no"?

Rarely - I'm comfortable saying no

Sometimes - I struggle with it occasionally

Often - I have difficulty saying no

Almost always - saying no feels impossible

Do you feel responsible for other people's feelings and happiness?

No - I recognize they're responsible for their own feelings

Somewhat - I care but know it's not my job

Often - I feel guilty when others are upset

Always - their happiness is my responsibility

How comfortable are you setting and maintaining boundaries?

Very comfortable - I have healthy boundaries

Somewhat comfortable - I'm working on it

Uncomfortable - I struggle with boundaries

Very uncomfortable - I have poor or no boundaries

Do you derive your sense of worth from helping or taking care of others?

No - my worth comes from within

Somewhat - I enjoy helping but it's not my identity

Often - I feel most valuable when I'm needed

Completely - I only feel worthy when helping others

How afraid are you of being abandoned or rejected?

Not afraid - I trust relationships can survive disagreements

Mildly concerned - occasional worry

Very afraid - fear drives many of my decisions

Terrified - I'll do anything to avoid abandonment

Do you have difficulty identifying your own feelings and needs?

No - I'm in touch with my feelings and needs

Sometimes - certain situations confuse me

Often - I focus on others instead of myself

Always - I don't know what I want or feel

How often do you try to "fix" or rescue others from their problems?

Rarely - I offer support but let them handle their issues

Sometimes - I want to help but can step back

Often - I feel compelled to fix their problems

Always - I can't stand to see them struggle

Do you neglect your own needs to take care of others?

No - I balance caring for myself and others

Occasionally - sometimes I put others first

Frequently - my needs usually come last

Always - I completely ignore my own needs

How much do you need approval or validation from others?

Not much - I validate myself

Somewhat - I appreciate it but don't require it

Very much - I seek constant reassurance

Completely - I need constant approval to feel okay

Do you feel uncomfortable or guilty when you focus on yourself?

No - self-care feels natural and necessary

Occasionally - mild guilt sometimes

Often - I feel selfish when I focus on myself

Always - self-care feels wrong and selfish

How much do you try to control people or situations?

Not at all - I accept what I can't control

Sometimes - I try to influence but can let go

Often - I feel anxious when I'm not in control

Constantly - I need to control everything

Do you stay in unhealthy relationships because you're afraid to be alone?

No - I'd rather be alone than in an unhealthy relationship

I've considered it but ultimately prioritize my wellbeing

Yes - I struggle to leave even when I'm unhappy

Yes - being alone feels unbearable

How often do you enable problematic behavior in others (making excuses, covering for them)?

Never - I let people face natural consequences

Rarely - only in emergency situations

Often - I regularly cover for or excuse their behavior

Always - I constantly protect them from consequences

Do you have a strong sense of who you are outside of your relationships?

Yes - I have a clear sense of self

Mostly - I know myself but relationships influence me

Weak - my identity shifts based on my relationships

No - I don't know who I am without others

How difficult is it for you to make decisions without input from others?

Not difficult - I trust my own judgment

Somewhat - I like input but can decide alone

Very difficult - I need others' opinions to decide

Nearly impossible - I can't make decisions alone

Do you feel resentful after doing things for others, even though you agreed to do them?

No - I only agree to what I'm genuinely willing to do

Occasionally - rare resentment

Often - I frequently feel resentful afterward

Always - I'm constantly resentful but keep helping

How much do you worry about what others think of you?

Not much - I'm confident in myself

Somewhat - normal social awareness

A lot - others' opinions greatly affect me

Constantly - I'm obsessed with others' opinions

Do you find it hard to express your true thoughts and feelings authentically?

No - I'm authentic and honest

Sometimes - certain situations are challenging

Often - I hide my true self to keep peace

Always - I never show my authentic self

How much does your mood depend on how others are feeling?

Not at all - I maintain my own emotional state

Somewhat - I'm affected but maintain boundaries

Very much - their mood strongly affects mine

Completely - I absorb others' emotions entirely

Are you attracted to people who need "fixing" or rescuing?

No - I'm attracted to emotionally healthy people

Occasionally - but I recognize the pattern

Often - I tend to choose partners who need help

Always - I'm only attracted to people I can rescue

Getting the Help You Need

Individual Therapy

Explores origins of codependent patterns
Builds healthy boundaries and self-worth
Develops sense of identity and self
Addresses fear of abandonment
Practices saying no and self-advocacy
Heals childhood wounds and trauma
Creates sustainable self-care practices

Couples Therapy

Identifies codependent relationship dynamics
Establishes healthy interdependence
Improves communication patterns
Balances giving and receiving
Reduces enabling and rescuing behaviors
Builds mutual respect and autonomy
Creates healthier relationship patterns

Breaking free from codependency is possible. Whether you need individual therapy to develop a stronger sense of self or couples therapy to create healthier relationship dynamics, professional guidance can help you build authentic connections while maintaining your identity. You deserve relationships where you can be yourself.

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