Are You in a Sexless Marriage? Quiz

A sexless marriage isn’t always about a lack of love—it’s often about a buildup of emotional disconnection, unspoken tension, or life stress that slowly pushes intimacy to the background. This quiz will help you reflect on your relationship, what’s changed, and what might help you begin reconnecting again.

According to research and relationship experts, a sexless marriage is generally defined as having sex fewer than 10 times per year. (You can read more about this definition from the National Library of Medicine and other reputable .org resources.)

Why This Quiz Matters

Many couples wait years before talking about intimacy concerns because they feel shame, guilt, or fear of rejection. But emotional distance and physical distance often go hand in hand—and noticing the pattern is the first step toward healing it.

This quiz isn’t about blame or comparison. It’s about self-awareness and giving language to something many couples quietly struggle with.

Signs Your Marriage May Be Sexless or Emotionally Disconnected

• You can’t remember the last time you felt physically close or desired.

• Intimacy feels awkward, pressured, or disconnected.

• You avoid physical affection because it feels like “a setup” for something more.

• You care about your partner but feel like roommates instead of lovers.

• Attempts to talk about it lead to defensiveness or shutdown.

If some of these sound familiar, therapy can help you rebuild trust, safety, and desire at your own pace.

The Quiz: Are You in a Sexless Marriage?

This short quiz helps you reflect on what’s happening in your relationship—emotionally, physically, and mentally. You’ll get a sense of whether you’re:

• Experiencing temporary disconnect due to stress or life changes.

• In a pattern of avoidance or hurt that’s blocking intimacy.

• Facing a sexless dynamic that may benefit from professional guidance.

Your answers can help clarify where you are and what support might help you move forward.

The Benefits of Sex Therapy for Couples

Sex therapy focuses on communication, trust, and rebuilding intimacy—not just increasing physical frequency.
Through guided conversations and gentle exercises, couples can:

• Address mismatched desire without shame.

• Reconnect emotionally before rebuilding physical closeness.

• Explore how stress, ADHD, trauma, or hormonal changes impact desire.

• Learn how to bring curiosity and warmth back into intimacy.

Therapy offers a confidential, compassionate space to talk about what feels unsaid.

Start Rebuilding Intimacy Together

You don’t have to face disconnection alone. With the right tools and support, your marriage can feel warm, affectionate, and fulfilling again.

Schedule an Online Session Today (Texas Residents)

Are You in a Sexless Marriage?

Disclaimer: This quiz is designed to help you reflect on intimacy in your marriage and identify areas that may need attention. It is not a diagnostic tool and should not replace professional counseling. Every relationship is unique, and what works for one couple may differ for another.

Progress 0/20

1

How often do you and your spouse engage in sexual intimacy?

Multiple times per week - we have a regular intimate connection

Once or twice per month - occasional intimacy

A few times per year - very infrequent

Less than 10 times per year or never

2

How satisfied are you with the level of physical intimacy in your marriage?

Very satisfied - it meets my needs

Somewhat satisfied - could be better but okay

Dissatisfied - my needs are not being met

Very dissatisfied - there's a significant gap

3

How often do you and your spouse discuss your sexual needs and desires?

Regularly - we communicate openly about intimacy

Occasionally - we talk about it sometimes

Rarely - we avoid these conversations

Never - we don't discuss intimacy at all

4

How would you describe your emotional connection with your spouse?

Very strong - we're emotionally close and connected

Good - some emotional connection exists

Weak - we feel disconnected emotionally

Very weak or nonexistent - we feel like roommates

5

Do you feel desired by your spouse?

Yes, regularly - I feel wanted and attractive to them

Sometimes - occasional feelings of being desired

Rarely - I often feel undesired

No - I feel rejected or unwanted

6

How often do you initiate physical intimacy?

Regularly - I initiate and it's well-received

Sometimes - I initiate but with mixed results

Rarely - I've stopped initiating due to rejection

Never - I've given up on initiating

7

How does your spouse respond when you try to initiate intimacy?

Positively - they're responsive and engaged

Sometimes receptive - it depends on the situation

Often resistant - frequently makes excuses

Consistently rejects - almost always says no

8

Are there unresolved conflicts or resentments affecting your intimacy?

No - we resolve conflicts well and don't carry resentment

Minor issues - some small unresolved conflicts

Significant issues - resentment is building

Major issues - deep resentment and unresolved hurt

9

How would you rate your overall desire for intimacy?

High - I regularly desire physical intimacy

Moderate - I desire intimacy sometimes

Low - I rarely feel desire for intimacy

Very low or none - I've lost interest in intimacy

10

Do you and your spouse have mismatched libidos or desire levels?

No - we're well-matched in our desire levels

Slight mismatch - manageable differences

Significant mismatch - causing friction

Extreme mismatch - very different desire levels

11

How much non-sexual physical affection (hugs, kisses, cuddling) do you share?

Frequently - we're affectionate throughout the day

Sometimes - occasional affection

Rarely - minimal physical touch

Almost never - we rarely touch at all

12

Have you talked with your spouse about the lack of intimacy?

Yes, productively - we've had helpful conversations

Yes, but difficult - conversations end in frustration

Attempted - but they're defensive or dismissive

No - I'm afraid or unable to bring it up

13

How is the lack of intimacy affecting your self-esteem?

Not affected - I feel confident and secure

Slightly affected - some self-doubt

Significantly affected - feeling unattractive or unworthy

Severely affected - major impact on self-worth

14

Are there physical or health issues contributing to the lack of intimacy?

No - no health barriers to intimacy

Minor issues - manageable health concerns

Moderate issues - health affecting intimacy

Significant issues - serious health barriers (need medical attention)

15

How long has the lack of intimacy been an issue in your marriage?

Not an issue - our intimacy is healthy

Less than 6 months - recent change

6 months to 2 years - ongoing issue

More than 2 years - long-standing pattern

16

Is your spouse willing to work on improving intimacy in your marriage?

Very willing - they want to improve things too

Somewhat willing - open but hesitant

Reluctant - resistant to addressing it

Unwilling - refuses to acknowledge or work on it

17

How much does the lack of intimacy bother you?

Not bothered - I'm content with current intimacy

Somewhat bothered - it's on my mind occasionally

Very bothered - it affects me frequently

Extremely bothered - it's a constant source of pain

18

Do you feel comfortable expressing your sexual needs and preferences?

Very comfortable - we communicate openly about sex

Somewhat comfortable - I can express some things

Uncomfortable - I struggle to voice my needs

Very uncomfortable - I can't express my sexual needs

19

Are you considering or have you considered ending the marriage due to lack of intimacy?

No - not at all

Fleeting thoughts - but not seriously

Sometimes - I think about it regularly

Frequently - I'm seriously considering leaving

20

Would you be open to seeking professional help to address intimacy issues?

Very open - I think counseling would help

Open - I'm willing to try it

Hesitant - unsure if it would help

Not open - I don't think counseling is necessary

Get Your Results

Getting the Help You Need

Individual Therapy

• Explores personal barriers to intimacy
• Addresses past trauma affecting sexuality
• Builds self-esteem and body confidence
• Works through desire and arousal concerns
• Develops communication skills
• Processes feelings about the relationship
• Identifies personal needs and boundaries

Couples Therapy

• Improves communication about intimacy
• Addresses desire discrepancy together
• Rebuilds emotional and physical connection
• Resolves underlying relationship conflicts
• Creates safe space for vulnerability
• Develops intimacy-building strategies
• Strengthens overall relationship satisfaction

A sexless marriage doesn't have to be permanent. Whether you need individual support to explore personal barriers or couples therapy to reconnect with your spouse, professional guidance can help you rebuild intimacy and strengthen your relationship. Taking this step shows courage and commitment to your marriage.

Schedule a Consultation

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