Attachment Style Quiz | 50 Questions

Attachment Style Quiz: Discover How You Connect in Relationships

Ever catch yourself getting super anxious when someone pulls away or wanting to run when things get too close? In this quiz, you’ll learn what attachment style you are. There are 4 types: secure, avoidant, anxious, or disorganized.

What’s Your Attachment Style?

Relationships are hard and sometimes you worry about being left, other times you might feel trapped when things get too close. That’s where your attachment style comes in. It affects how you trust, open up, and handle conflict with the people you care about. This short quiz can help you see whether you lean secure, anxious, avoidant, or somewhere in between. When you understand your attachment style, you can make sense of your patterns and build stronger, more satisfying relationships going forward.

Adult Attachment, Stress, and Relationships

Ever catch yourself spiraling if your partner seems distant — or feeling like you need space the second things get serious? That’s your attachment style talking. These patterns usually start when we’re kids, learning who we can count on for comfort and support, and they tend to follow us right into our adult love lives.

Here’s a quick, friendly rundown:

• Anxious: You love closeness and want to feel really connected, but deep down, you worry your partner might leave or stop caring. That fear can make you cling tighter or read way too much into little things.

• Avoidant: You value independence and might feel awkward depending on someone else. When things get tough, you’re more likely to pull away or shut down, just to keep from feeling too exposed.

• Disorganized (fearful-avoidant): You might feel torn — wanting love but also being scared of it. That can lead to pushing people away even while you’re trying to pull them closer, which can get exhausting fast.

When life gets stressful — a fight, a breakup scare, or a huge change — these patterns usually kick into high gear. Anxious folks might hold on even tighter, avoidant folks might shut down even more, and disorganized folks can end up bouncing between both.

Discover Your Attachment Style

Understanding How You Connect in Relationships

Important Disclaimer

This quiz is for educational and self-reflection purposes only. It is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any mental health conditions or replace professional psychological assessment, therapy, or medical care. The results provide general insights into attachment patterns but should not be considered a definitive clinical evaluation or substitute for professional mental health services.

Seek Professional Help: If you're experiencing relationship difficulties, emotional distress, depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, or other mental health concerns, please consult with a qualified mental health professional immediately. This assessment is designed to increase self-awareness and may serve as a helpful starting point for deeper exploration in therapy.

Crisis Resources: If you are experiencing a mental health emergency or having thoughts of self-harm, please contact:

• National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 988 or 1-800-273-8255
• Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741
• Emergency Services: 911

Confidentiality Notice: While this quiz does not collect personal identifying information, please be aware that responses may be stored temporarily for functionality purposes. For complete privacy, consider taking this assessment in a private setting.

Accuracy Disclaimer: Results are based on self-reported responses and may not reflect actual attachment patterns. Individual experiences vary, and professional assessment is recommended for accurate evaluation.

Benefits of Understanding Your Attachment Style

• Improved Self-Awareness: Gain insight into your emotional patterns and relationship behaviors
• Better Communication: Understand how you express needs and respond to others
• Healthier Relationships: Recognize triggers and develop more secure connection patterns
• Enhanced Emotional Regulation: Learn to manage anxiety, avoidance, and emotional reactions
• Breaking Negative Cycles: Identify and interrupt destructive relationship patterns
• Increased Empathy: Better understand your partner's attachment needs and behaviors
• Personal Growth: Create a roadmap for developing more secure attachment patterns

Individual vs. Couples Counseling for Attachment

Individual Counseling

• Deep exploration of personal attachment history
• Processing childhood experiences and trauma
• Developing emotional regulation skills
• Building self-awareness and self-compassion
• Working on personal triggers and patterns
• Creating a secure internal foundation
• Preparing for healthier future relationships

Couples Counseling

• Understanding each partner's attachment style
• Improving communication and emotional connection
• Breaking negative interaction cycles
• Creating secure bonding experiences
• Developing empathy for each other's needs
• Learning to support each other's growth
• Building a more secure relationship foundation

Many people benefit from both individual and couples work, as personal attachment healing often enhances relationship dynamics.

Attachment Style Assessment

1. When my partner seems distant, I typically:

Talk to them about what I'm noticing and ask how they're feeling Feel worried and try harder to get their attention Give them space and focus on other things Feel confused and alternate between pursuing and withdrawing

2. I find it easy to express my needs in relationships:

Usually true - I can communicate my needs clearly Sometimes, but I worry about how others will react Not really - I prefer to handle things myself It depends on the situation and my mood

3. When I'm upset, I prefer to:

Talk it through with someone I trust Seek comfort and reassurance from others Work through it on my own I'm not sure what helps me feel better

4. I worry that people I care about will leave me:

Rarely - I trust in the stability of my relationships Often - this is a frequent concern for me Not really - I don't depend on others that much Sometimes intensely, sometimes not at all

5. In conflict, I tend to:

Stay calm and work toward resolution Get emotional and want to resolve it immediately Withdraw or shut down React unpredictably - sometimes fight, sometimes flee

6. I find it comfortable to depend on others:

Yes, when it's appropriate and mutual Yes, but I worry about being too needy No, I prefer to be self-reliant It feels both necessary and scary

7. When someone gets close to me, I:

Feel comfortable and enjoy the connection Feel happy but also worry about losing them Start to feel uncomfortable and need space Feel conflicted - wanting closeness but also feeling scared

8. I believe most people are generally trustworthy:

Yes, until they prove otherwise I want to believe this but often have doubts Not really - people usually let you down I'm never sure who to trust

9. When my partner needs space, I:

Respect their need while staying connected Feel rejected and want to know why Feel relieved and use the time for myself Feel confused about what it means

10. I'm comfortable with intimacy and closeness:

Yes, I enjoy deep emotional connections Yes, but I sometimes worry about being too much Not really - too much closeness feels suffocating I crave it but also fear it

11. My childhood relationship with caregivers was:

Generally consistent and supportive Inconsistent - sometimes loving, sometimes unavailable Distant or focused on independence Unpredictable, chaotic, or frightening

12. I handle relationship stress by:

Communicating and working together to solve problems Seeking reassurance and wanting to talk it through Taking time alone to think and process Reacting emotionally without a clear strategy

13. I believe I deserve love and care:

Yes, I have a healthy sense of self-worth Sometimes, but I often doubt myself I don't think about it much - I focus on other things I'm not sure what I deserve

14. When someone is late or doesn't text back, I:

Assume they're busy and wait to hear from them Worry that something is wrong or they're upset with me Don't really think about it or feel bothered Have intense reactions that surprise me

15. I find it easy to forgive others:

Generally yes, especially when they show genuine remorse Yes, sometimes too easily because I fear losing them It depends, but I tend to remember hurts Forgiveness feels complicated and confusing

16. In relationships, I tend to:

Balance giving and receiving naturally Give more than I receive Prefer to give rather than receive Struggle with the balance - it feels chaotic

17. I'm comfortable being alone:

Yes, I enjoy both solitude and companionship Not really - I prefer being with others Yes, I often prefer it Sometimes I crave it, sometimes I fear it

18. When I think about my future relationships, I feel:

Optimistic and confident Hopeful but worried Uncertain or not particularly concerned Confused about what I want

19. I can easily identify my emotions:

Usually - I'm in touch with my feelings Sometimes, but anxiety can cloud my thinking Not always - I tend to intellectualize No, my emotions often feel overwhelming or numb

20. When someone I care about is upset, I:

Offer support while respecting their process Feel anxious and want to fix it immediately Feel uncomfortable and may withdraw Don't know how to respond appropriately

21. I believe that love should be:

Steady, supportive, and mutually enriching Intense and all-consuming Respectful of independence and space I'm not sure what healthy love looks like

22. In past relationships, I've been told I'm:

Supportive and easy to be with Too needy or clingy Distant or hard to reach Unpredictable or confusing

23. When making important decisions, I:

Consider input from trusted people while trusting my judgment Seek lots of reassurance and worry about making mistakes Prefer to decide independently Feel paralyzed or make impulsive choices

24. I handle jealousy by:

Communicating my feelings and working through them Feeling intense worry and seeking reassurance Telling myself it doesn't matter or withdrawing Having extreme reactions that feel out of control

25. My relationships tend to be:

Stable and mutually satisfying Intense but sometimes turbulent Pleasant but not deeply intimate Chaotic or unpredictable

26. I worry about being abandoned:

Rarely - I trust in relationship stability Often - it's a constant underlying fear Not really - I'm more concerned about being trapped Sometimes intensely, in ways that surprise me

27. When I'm stressed, I:

Reach out for support while also using healthy coping strategies Become more clingy and seek constant reassurance Withdraw and try to handle everything myself Have unpredictable reactions - sometimes seeking help, sometimes isolating

28. I believe others generally have good intentions:

Yes, most people are doing their best I want to believe this but often have doubts Not necessarily - people are primarily self-interested I can't tell - people seem unpredictable

29. Opening up emotionally feels:

Natural and connecting with the right people Scary but necessary - I worry about being rejected Uncomfortable and potentially risky Terrifying yet desperately needed

30. In arguments, I:

Stay focused on the issue and work toward resolution Get emotional and may say things I regret Shut down or walk away React unpredictably - sometimes explosive, sometimes silent

31. I find it easy to trust new people:

Moderately - I give people a chance while being reasonably cautious I want to trust but worry about being hurt Not really - trust must be earned over time I struggle with knowing who to trust

32. When I need comfort, I:

Reach out to trusted friends or family Desperately seek reassurance from others Prefer to self-soothe alone Don't know how to get comfort effectively

33. I see myself as:

Generally worthy of love and capable Loveable but worry others won't see it Self-sufficient and independent Inconsistent - sometimes good, sometimes bad

34. Physical affection feels:

Comforting and natural with people I'm close to Wonderful but I sometimes worry about wanting too much Uncomfortable or overwhelming Confusing - sometimes wonderful, sometimes scary

35. When someone cancels plans, I:

Feel disappointed but understand things happen Wonder if they're upset with me or losing interest Feel relieved to have the time to myself Have an intense reaction that feels disproportionate

36. I handle criticism by:

Listening and considering if there's truth to learn from Feeling devastated and seeking reassurance Dismissing it or getting defensive Having extreme emotional reactions

37. I prefer relationships that are:

Balanced between closeness and independence Very close and emotionally intense Respectful of personal space and autonomy I'm not sure what I want in relationships

38. When I feel insecure in a relationship, I:

Talk about my feelings and work through them Become more demanding of attention and reassurance Pull back and become more self-reliant Act in ways that seem to sabotage the relationship

39. I believe that people who love me will:

Be there for me while respecting my independence Eventually leave or lose interest in me Expect too much from me emotionally Be unpredictable in their care and attention

40. My friends would describe me as:

Reliable, supportive, and emotionally balanced Caring but sometimes overwhelming or needy Independent, strong, but sometimes hard to get close to Unpredictable or hard to understand

41. When I think about commitment, I feel:

Positive about building something lasting with the right person Eager but worried about whether they'll stay committed too Nervous about losing my freedom and independence Conflicted - wanting it but also fearing it

42. I show love by:

Being consistently supportive and affectionate Being very attentive and sometimes sacrificing my own needs Doing practical things rather than expressing emotions Inconsistent ways that sometimes confuse both of us

43. When my partner is stressed, I:

Offer support while giving them space to process Feel anxious and try to fix their problems immediately Give them space but may feel disconnected Don't know how to help appropriately

44. I deal with past relationship hurt by:

Processing it and learning from the experience Worrying it will happen again in future relationships Building walls to protect myself from future hurt Feeling stuck and unable to move forward

45. My comfort level with emotional expression is:

Balanced - I express emotions appropriately High - I tend to be very emotionally expressive Low - I prefer to keep emotions private Unpredictable - sometimes very expressive, sometimes shut down

46. When I imagine my ideal relationship, it includes:

Mutual support, growth, and healthy interdependence Constant closeness and reassurance Respect for individual space and minimal drama I struggle to envision what healthy looks like

47. I worry most about:

Normal life challenges that most people face Being rejected or abandoned by people I love Being controlled or losing my independence Everything feeling chaotic and unpredictable

48. My approach to problem-solving in relationships is:

Collaborative and solution-focused Emotional and focused on reassurance-seeking Independent and logical Inconsistent and sometimes destructive

49. I believe that healthy relationships require:

Mutual respect, communication, and effort from both people Constant attention and emotional availability Minimal demands and respect for personal boundaries I'm not sure what makes relationships healthy

50. Overall, my experience in close relationships has been:

Generally positive with normal ups and downs Intense and emotionally challenging Disappointing or limiting Confusing and unpredictable

Get My Attachment Style Results

Your Attachment Style Results

Ready to Explore Your Attachment Patterns Further?

Understanding your attachment style is just the beginning. At Sagebrush Counseling, we specialize in helping individuals and couples develop more secure, fulfilling relationships through evidence-based attachment-focused therapy.

Whether you're looking to:

• Heal from past relationship trauma
• Break negative relationship patterns
• Improve communication with your partner
• Develop more secure attachment patterns
• Strengthen your current relationship

Our experienced therapists are here to support your journey toward healthier, more secure relationships.

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Take the first step toward the relationships you deserve. Contact us to learn more about our individual and couples therapy services.