Marriage Counseling Books Every Couple Should Read
Published by Sagebrush Counseling
Let’s be real—relationships take work. Whether you’re newly married or have been together for years, every couple hits bumps in the road. And while therapy can be a powerful tool, sometimes you just need something to read, reflect on, and talk about together. That’s where the right book comes in.
At Sagebrush Counseling, we believe growth doesn’t just happen in the therapy room. Books can be amazing tools for connection, insight, and those “Aha!” moments that move your relationship forward.
Whether you're navigating conflict, trying to rekindle intimacy, or simply wanting to feel closer, the books below can help you build something stronger, steadier, and more fulfilling.
Why Reading Relationship Books Together Works
Reading with your partner might sound a little nerdy—but it’s also incredibly intimate. When you read a relationship book together, you’re doing more than just learning tips and tools. You’re saying, “I care about us. I want to grow with you.”
It gives you shared language. It creates space for meaningful conversations. And sometimes, it helps you bring up things you didn’t know how to say out loud.
Our Favorite Marriage Counseling Book Recommendations
1. Hold Me Tight by Dr. Sue Johnson
If you’ve been feeling distant or misunderstood, this one’s a game-changer. Based on Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), Dr. Johnson walks you through seven conversations that help you and your partner reconnect at a deeper emotional level.
Best for: Couples who want to feel emotionally closer and safer with each other.
2. The State of Affairs by Esther Perel
Perel tackles infidelity in a way that’s thoughtful, non-judgmental, and deeply human. Whether you’re working through betrayal or just want to understand modern relationships better, this book opens up big, important conversations.
Best for: Couples healing from an affair—or anyone wanting to prevent disconnect.
3. Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski
This isn’t your average sex book. Nagoski brings compassion and science to the topic of women’s sexuality, helping couples navigate desire, arousal, and intimacy in a real and relatable way.
Best for: Couples dealing with mismatched desire or looking to deepen their physical connection.
4. Wired for Love by Dr. Stan Tatkin
Want to understand why your fights escalate or why you shut down under stress? This book blends neuroscience and attachment theory to explain how your brain responds in relationships—and how to stay connected when things get tough.
Best for: Couples who want to feel more secure, especially during conflict.
5. Attached by Amir Levine & Rachel Heller
Ever wonder why you get anxious when they don’t text back—or why you need space and your partner doesn’t get it? This book explores attachment styles in a super approachable way.
Best for: Anyone who wants to understand their emotional reactions in relationships.
6. Getting the Love You Want by Harville Hendrix
This classic explains how your past shapes your present relationship. With exercises and reflections, it helps couples get unstuck and grow closer by healing old wounds together.
Best for: Couples in therapy or anyone ready to break repeating patterns.
7. Us by Terrence Real
Instead of thinking in terms of “you vs. me,” Real helps couples shift into a sense of “we.” His insights on power struggles, resentment, and emotional repair are honest, powerful, and deeply healing.
Best for: Couples tired of fighting the same fight over and over again.
8. Loving Bravely by Dr. Alexandra Solomon
This book is a great bridge between individual and couples work. It shows how your self-awareness (or lack of it) shows up in your relationship—and how to grow from the inside out.
Best for: Self-aware partners or people doing personal growth work alongside couples therapy.
9. Crucial Conversations by Kerry Patterson et al.
Not a relationship book per se, but full of helpful tools for high-stakes conversations. If you tend to avoid conflict or freeze up when things get tense, this one can be a life-saver.
Best for: Couples who want to handle disagreements without blowing up or shutting down.
10. Eight Dates by Drs. John & Julie Gottman
Think of this as a relationship roadmap in date-night form. The Gottmans walk you through eight conversations every couple should have—from sex to money to dreams.
Best for: Couples who want a simple, structured way to stay connected.
How to Get the Most Out of Relationship Books
Reading is a start, but it’s what you do with the information that really matters. Here are some tips for turning a book into relationship gold:
Make it a ritual. Pick a night each week to read a chapter and talk about it.
Highlight your takeaways. Jot down what stood out and why.
Start small. Choose one strategy or insight to try out before adding more.
Talk about what fits—and what doesn’t. Every couple is different. Adapt ideas to your dynamic.
Be patient. Real change takes time, consistency, and a bit of trial and error.
And When Books Aren’t Quite Enough…
As helpful as these books are, sometimes you need more than just good advice. If you're still feeling stuck, unseen, or disconnected—couples therapy can offer the deeper support you're craving.
At Sagebrush Counseling, we often recommend books as part of the healing process, but our real work happens in helping you apply these ideas to your real-life relationship—gently, with guidance, and in a space that feels safe and supportive.
Want to Build Your Own Relationship Library?
Depending on where you are in your journey, here are a few more categories to explore:
Premarital prep: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman
Parenting & partnership: Fair Play by Eve Rodsky
Faith-based connection: Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas
Money & marriage: Smart Couples Finish Rich by David Bach
You Deserve a Relationship That Feels Good Again
Every couple faces tough seasons—but you don’t have to stay stuck in them. Whether you’re rebuilding after a rupture or simply wanting to feel closer again, there’s no shame in reaching for help.
If you’re ready to go deeper, therapy can help you move from just surviving to truly thriving together. Sagebrush Counseling offers online couples counseling across Texas—so wherever you are, support is only a click away. Because your relationship is worth fighting for.
