Communication Scripts for Autism
Clear Is Kind: Everyday Scripts for Neurodiverse Communication
Fill-in-the-blank templates for clearer, kinder communication
π¬ Why Scripts Help
For many neurodivergent people, having clear, structured ways to communicate can reduce anxiety, prevent misunderstandings, and help express thoughts more effectively. These scripts provide frameworks you can adapt to your own communication style and needs.
Principles of Clear Communication
Be Direct
Say exactly what you mean without expecting others to read between the lines
Be Specific
Use concrete details and examples rather than vague generalities
Be Kind
Clarity and kindness can coexist - direct doesn't mean harsh
Be Timely
Address issues when they arise rather than letting them build up
Communication Script Categories
π Affection
Expressing love and care
π£οΈ Needs
Asking for what you need
π‘οΈ Boundaries
Setting limits clearly
π€ Conflict Resolution
Working through disagreements
π Expressing Love and Appreciation
π‘ Tips:
Be specific about what your partner does that you appreciate. Instead of "you're amazing," try "you're thoughtful when you remember my sensory needs."
π€ Asking for Physical Affection
Example Variations:
- "I would like a 30-second hug right now. Would that work for you?"
- "I'm feeling anxious and holding hands would help me feel better."
- "Could we cuddle on the couch for about 10 minutes?"
β° Communicating Affection Timing
π‘ Tips:
It's okay to need time before being affectionate. Giving a timeframe helps your partner understand it's not rejection.
π£οΈ Asking for Help
Example Variations:
- "I need help with grocery shopping. Could you come with me Saturday morning?"
- "I'm overwhelmed by the dishes. Could you handle them tonight?"
- "I need help processing this conversation. Could we talk through it together?"
π οΈ Requesting Accommodations
π‘ Tips:
Explain how the accommodation helps you function better. This helps others understand it's not a preference but a need.
β³ Asking for Processing Time
Example Variations:
- "I need 20 minutes to think about this. Can we talk again after dinner?"
- "This is important to me, so I need overnight to process. Can we continue tomorrow?"
- "I want to give you a thoughtful response. Can I have until this weekend?"
π‘οΈ Setting Clear Boundaries
π‘ Tips:
Be specific about what you don't want AND what you do want. This gives clear direction for moving forward.
β° Time and Energy Boundaries
Example Variations:
- "I have about 30 minutes of social energy left today. After that, I'll need quiet time."
- "I can help with this project for 2 hours. After that, I need to focus on my work."
- "I have low energy today, so I can do light tasks but not heavy cleaning."
π Restating Boundaries
π‘ Tips:
It's normal to need to restate boundaries. People forget, and that's okay. Stay calm and factual.
π€ Addressing Problems Early
π‘ Tips:
Address issues when they're small. Use "I" statements and focus on specific behaviors rather than character judgments.
π Repairing After Conflict
Example Variations:
- "I want to repair after our argument. I understand you felt unheard. Going forward, I'll ask questions to make sure I understand."
- "I realize my tone was harsh earlier. I understand that hurt you. I'll work on expressing frustration more gently."
π Taking a Break During Conflict
π‘ Tips:
Taking breaks during conflict is healthy, not avoidance. Always specify when you'll return to the conversation.
Creating Your Custom Scripts
π Write Your Own Scripts
Use the space below to create scripts for situations specific to your life and relationships.
Situation:
Your Script:
Alternative Versions:
Personalizing Your Communication
My Communication Preferences
I communicate best when:
I struggle with communication when:
I would like my partner/family to know: