Autism and Empathy in Relationships
How I Show Empathy / How I Receive Empathy
Understanding and bridging different empathy styles in your partnership
π§ Understanding Autism & Empathy
Autistic people experience empathy deeply but may express it differently than neurotypical people expect. This worksheet helps couples understand each other's unique empathy styles and build stronger emotional connection through awareness and acceptance.
Busting Empathy Myths
π« Common Myths About Autism & Empathy
MYTH: "Autistic people lack empathy"
REALITY: Autistic people often experience deep empathy but may express it differently or struggle with cognitive empathy (understanding others' perspectives) while having strong affective empathy (feeling others' emotions).
MYTH: "If you don't show empathy the 'typical' way, it doesn't count"
REALITY: Empathy comes in many forms. Some people show empathy through actions, problem-solving, or sharing interests rather than traditional emotional expressions.
MYTH: "Autistic people are selfish or don't care about others"
REALITY: Many autistic people care deeply about others and may become overwhelmed by others' emotions. They may appear withdrawn to manage emotional intensity, not because they don't care.
Identifying Our Empathy Styles
π― Cognitive Empathy
Understanding what others are thinking and feeling through observation, analysis, or learned social rules
β€οΈ Affective Empathy
Automatically feeling what others feel, often intensely and sometimes overwhelmingly
π οΈ Compassionate Action
Showing care through practical help, problem-solving, or sharing special interests
π Parallel Process
Sharing similar experiences or relating through personal stories and connections
π Emotional Absorption
Taking on others' emotions so intensely that boundaries become unclear
β‘ Selective Empathy
Strong empathy in certain contexts or with specific people, variable in others
How I Show Empathy
π― Some Examples of Showing Empathy
- Offering practical solutions or help
- Sharing personal experiences or stories
- Giving space when someone seems overwhelmed
- Making someone's favorite food or activity available
- Researching information to help with their problem
- Sitting quietly with someone without trying to fix
- Remembering important details about their interests
- Physical comfort (if welcome)
π Reflection Questions
- Do you prefer giving advice or listening?
- Do you show care through actions or words?
- How do you comfort someone who's upset?
- What do you do when you can't fix someone's problem?
- How do you show you understand someone's feelings?
- Do you share your own experiences to connect?
- How do you respect someone's emotional space?
- What makes you feel like you're being helpful?
How I Receive Empathy
What Empathy Looks Like TO Me
What Empathy Looks Like TO Me
When Empathy Misses the Mark
What well-intentioned actions from others don't feel empathetic to you? What makes you feel misunderstood?
Bridging Our Empathy Differences
My Empathy Style
Our Common Ground
Your Empathy Style
Empathy Translation Guide
How can you "translate" your empathy so your partner recognizes it? How can they translate theirs for you?
Navigating Empathy Challenges
When Emotions Feel Overwhelming
How do you handle situations where emotions (yours or your partner's) feel too intense?
When I'm Struggling to Empathize
When I Need More Empathy
Our Empathy Action Plan
π Building Empathy Bridges
Empathy Check-ins
How will you regularly check in about empathy needs and ensure you're both feeling understood?
π Remember
Different doesn't mean deficient. Both partners bring valuable empathy styles to the relationship. The goal is understanding and translation, not changing who you are.