Shutdown Support Plan for Couples
Creating safety and understanding around shutdown experiences
π§ Understanding Shutdowns
Shutdowns are a protective neurological response to overwhelming stress or stimulation. Unlike meltdowns, shutdowns involve withdrawing, going quiet, or becoming less responsive. They're not a choiceβthey're the nervous system's way of protecting itself. The key to support is creating safety without pressure.
Recognizing Our Shutdown Patterns
π¨ Early Warning Signs
π Shutdown Behaviors
Shutdown Triggers & Prevention
Common Shutdown Triggers
What situations, environments, or stressors tend to lead to shutdowns for each of you?
Prevention Strategies
Early Intervention
Communication During Shutdowns
Alternative Communication Methods
When verbal communication becomes difficult, what alternative methods work?
Written Notes
Simple yes/no questions, basic needs
Text Messages
Low-pressure digital communication
Hand Signals
Thumbs up/down, simple gestures
Pointing/Cards
Visual aids, need cards, pictures
Physical Presence
Just being nearby without demands
Time Signals
Check-ins at agreed intervals
How to Support During Shutdown
β DO: Helpful Support
β DON'T: Avoid These
Personalized Support Strategies
What specific things help each of you feel supported and safe during shutdown?
Recovery & Post-Shutdown Care
What Helps Recovery
Post-Shutdown Needs
β οΈ Important Recovery Notes
Recovery cannot be rushed. Some people need hours or even days to fully recover from a shutdown. Pushing for "normal" too quickly can trigger another shutdown or create lasting stress.
Emergency Shutdown Support Plan
π¨ When Shutdown is Severe or Prolonged
Supporting the Non-Shutdown Partner
How can the partner in shutdown communicate their needs? How can the supporting partner take care of themselves?
Relationship Care & Prevention
Building Shutdown Resilience Together
How can you work together to reduce shutdown frequency and build understanding?
Post-Shutdown Relationship Repair
How will you reconnect and address any relationship impact after shutdowns?
π Remember
Shutdowns are not personal rejection or manipulation. They're a neurological protection mechanism. With understanding, patience, and good support strategies, couples can navigate shutdowns while maintaining connection and love.