💜 Neurodivergent Love Languages 💜

Discovering How You Give and Receive Love in Your Unique Way

Understanding Neurodivergent Love Languages

Traditional love languages don't always capture how neurodivergent folks experience connection.

This worksheet helps you identify, understand, and communicate the unique ways you and your partner show and receive love through a neurodivergent lens.

The Core Neurodivergent Love Languages

Click the ones that resonate with you:

🧠

Info Sharing

Sharing passionate deep dives about interests, exchanging fascinating facts, and having someone genuinely listen to your special interests

🎮

Parallel Presence

Being together while doing separate activities, comfortable silence, existing in the same space without interaction pressure

🤝

Support Exchange

Trading accommodations, helping with challenging tasks, body doubling, sharing energy reserves when one person is depleted

🎁

Thoughtful Tokens

Small meaningful gifts, sharing memes or articles, "this reminded me of you" moments, collecting little treasures for someone

🫂

Pressure & Regulation

Deep pressure hugs, weighted blankets together, co-regulating through touch or presence, respecting sensory needs

🛡️

Advocacy & Protection

Standing up for each other, creating safe spaces, handling overwhelming situations for your partner, being their shield

Your Personal Love Language Profile

Part 1: What Makes You Feel Most Loved?

When my partner learns about my special interests They ask questions, remember details, or engage with things I'm passionate about

When they respect my need for alone time Understanding that needing space isn't rejection, it's regulation

When they handle the "hard things" for me Making phone calls, dealing with crowds, or managing sensory challenges

When they notice and accommodate my sensory needs Dimming lights, reducing noise, or offering sensory tools without being asked

When they share routine and predictability with me Maintaining schedules, giving advance notice of changes, creating structure together

When they celebrate my neurodivergent traits Appreciating my stims, unique perspective, or different way of processing

Other ways I feel loved:

Part 2: How You Naturally Show Love

Rate how often you express love in these ways:

Sharing cool facts/interests Sometimes

Sitting quietly together Sometimes

Helping with tasks Sometimes

Giving little gifts/finds Sometimes

Physical comfort/pressure Sometimes

Creating Your Love Language Map

My Top 3 Ways of Receiving Love

My Top 3 Ways of Giving Love

Love Language Translations

Sometimes what we intend and what's received are different. Let's translate:

When I do this...

I'm trying to say...

When my partner does this...

I feel loved because...

Specific Love Actions

Fill in Your Personalized Love Menu

Daily micro-doses of love that work for me: When I'm struggling, show love by: When celebrating, I feel loved when: In crisis/meltdown, I need:

Love Language Boundaries

What Doesn't Feel Like Love to Me

It's equally important to share what doesn't work:

Surprise social plans Even if meant as a nice gesture, unexpected social situations are stressful

Interrupting my routines Even for "fun" surprises, breaking routine feels destabilizing

Forced eye contact or physical touch Pushing for neurotypical expressions of intimacy

Minimizing my sensory needs "It's not that loud" or "Just ignore it" doesn't help

Fixing instead of accepting Trying to make me "less autistic" instead of loving me as I am

Other things that don't feel like love to me:

Partner Communication Script

How to Share This With Your Partner

"I've been learning about neurodivergent love languages, which are different ways that neurodivergent people give and receive love. I filled out this worksheet to help us understand each other better. Would you like to go through it together? You might want to fill one out too, so we can understand each other's unique ways of showing love."

Our Love Language Agreement

Together, we commit to:

Quick Reference Card

My Love Language Cheat Sheet

Print this section and keep it handy!

My partner can show me love by: