The 'Should' vs. The Self
Differentiating authentic desires from internalized expectations
Exploring Your 'Shoulds'
We all carry beliefs about what we "should" do, feel, or be. Some of these come from our authentic values, but many are internalized expectations from others that may not truly align with who we are.
- Think about statements you tell yourself that begin with "I should..."
- Consider shoulds about career, relationships, emotions, appearance, behavior, etc.
- Notice the difference between external pressure and internal desire
- Explore what changes when "should" becomes "want"
Understanding the Difference
"Should" Statements
Often come from external expectations, cultural norms, family beliefs, or internalized pressure. They can feel heavy, obligatory, or guilt-inducing. May sound like someone else's voice.
"Want" Statements
Come from authentic desires, personal values, and genuine motivation. They feel energizing, chosen, and aligned with your true self. Sound like your own voice.
Identifying Your 'Shoulds'
| I should... | Where did this belief come from? |
|---|---|
Transforming 'Should' to 'Want'
Take each "should" statement above and rewrite it as "I want..." Then notice what changes for you.
| I should... | I want... | What changes? |
|---|---|---|