Defenses in Action
Understanding how we protect ourselves from difficult emotions
Understanding Defense Mechanisms
Defense mechanisms are psychological strategies we unconsciously use to protect ourselves from uncomfortable feelings, thoughts, or situations. They're not "bad" - they often serve important protective functions. Awareness helps us choose when and how to use them more consciously.
Exploring Your Defenses
Think of a recent time when you avoided a difficult feeling or conflict. This could be in any relationship or situation where something felt uncomfortable or threatening.
- Choose a specific, recent example (within the last few weeks)
- Notice what you did instead of facing the feeling directly
- Consider what this strategy might have protected you from
- Approach this with curiosity, not judgment
Common Defense Strategies
Avoidance/Withdrawal
Physically or emotionally removing yourself from the situation
Intellectualizing
Focusing on facts and logic while avoiding emotional aspects
Humor/Deflection
Using jokes or changing the subject to avoid serious topics
Minimizing
Downplaying the importance or impact of the situation
Blame/Projection
Focusing on others' faults rather than your own feelings
Busyness/Distraction
Keeping yourself occupied to avoid facing feelings
People-Pleasing
Focusing on others' needs to avoid your own discomfort
Perfectionism
Getting caught up in details to avoid bigger issues
Anger/Attack
Getting aggressive to push away vulnerable feelings
Denial
Refusing to acknowledge that something is happening