Intimacy Inventory & Relationship Goals
A Therapeutic Worksheet for Couples to Enhance Connection and Intimacy
Part 1: Understanding Intimacy in Your Relationship
Intimacy encompasses much more than physical connection. This assessment will help you explore different dimensions of intimacy and identify areas of strength and growth in your relationship.
1. How do you personally define intimacy in a relationship?
2. What does intimacy look like when your relationship is at its best?
3. What barriers or challenges currently affect intimacy in your relationship?
Part 2: Types of Intimacy Assessment
Rate your satisfaction with each type of intimacy in your relationship using the scale: 1 = Very Dissatisfied, 2 = Dissatisfied, 3 = Neutral, 4 = Satisfied, 5 = Very Satisfied
| Type of Intimacy | Description | Current Rating (1-5) | Desired Rating (1-5) |
|---|---|---|---|
| Emotional Intimacy | Sharing feelings, being vulnerable, emotional support | ||
| Physical Intimacy | Sexual connection, affectionate touch, physical closeness | ||
| Intellectual Intimacy | Sharing ideas, meaningful conversations, mental connection | ||
| Spiritual Intimacy | Shared values, beliefs, sense of purpose and meaning | ||
| Recreational Intimacy | Playing together, shared hobbies, fun and enjoyment | ||
| Work Intimacy | Sharing responsibilities, teamwork, supporting goals | ||
| Crisis Intimacy | Supporting each other through difficulties and challenges | ||
| Conflict Intimacy | Healthy disagreement, working through differences |
Part 3: Intimacy Strengths and Growth Areas
4. Based on your ratings above, what are your top 3 intimacy strengths as a couple?
Strength 1:
What makes this area work well for you?
Strength 2:
What makes this area work well for you?
Strength 3:
What makes this area work well for you?
5. What are your top 3 intimacy growth areas that you'd like to improve?
Growth Area 1:
What specific changes would help improve this area?
Growth Area 2:
What specific changes would help improve this area?
Growth Area 3:
What specific changes would help improve this area?
Part 4: Individual Intimacy Needs
Each partner should complete their section separately, then share and discuss your responses together.
Partner A
What helps you feel most connected to your partner?
What makes you feel distant or disconnected?
What do you need more of in your relationship?
Partner B
What helps you feel most connected to your partner?
What makes you feel distant or disconnected?
What do you need more of in your relationship?
Part 5: Intimacy Preferences and Communication
Understanding each other's preferences can help you both feel more fulfilled and connected.
6. How do you prefer to give and receive affection? Check all that apply:
Words of affirmation and appreciation
Physical touch and cuddling
Quality time together
Acts of service and helpfulness
Thoughtful gifts and surprises
Deep conversations and emotional sharing
Shared activities and adventures
Sexual intimacy and passion
7. When do you feel most open to intimacy and connection?
8. What topics or conversations bring you closer together as a couple?
9. How can your partner best support you when you're feeling stressed or overwhelmed?
Part 6: Relationship Goals and Action Planning
Work together to set specific, achievable goals for enhancing intimacy in your relationship.
Goal #1: Emotional Intimacy
Specific Goal:
Action Steps:
Timeline:
How will you measure progress?
Goal #2: Physical Intimacy
Specific Goal:
Action Steps:
Timeline:
How will you measure progress?
Goal #3: Quality Time/Connection
Specific Goal:
Action Steps:
Timeline:
How will you measure progress?
Part 7: Barriers and Solutions
10. What obstacles might prevent you from achieving your intimacy goals?
Busy schedules and time constraints
Stress from work or other responsibilities
Communication difficulties
Past hurt or unresolved conflicts
Different intimacy needs or preferences
Physical health or medical issues
Mental health challenges
External pressures (family, finances, etc.)
11. For each barrier you identified, what strategies could help you overcome it?
12. How will you support each other in working toward your intimacy goals?
Part 8: Progress Assessment
Rate your current relationship on the following dimensions:
Poor
Fair
Good
Very Good
Excellent
12345
Monthly Intimacy Check-In
Use this table to track progress on your intimacy goals over the next few months.
| Month | Goals Worked On | Progress Made | Challenges Encountered | Satisfaction (1-5) |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Month 1 | ||||
| Month 2 | ||||
| Month 3 |
Key Takeaway
Remember: Intimacy is not a destination but an ongoing journey of connection and growth. Different types of intimacy may fluctuate naturally over time and life circumstances. The key is maintaining open communication, mutual respect, and commitment to nurturing your connection. Small, consistent efforts often create more lasting change than dramatic gestures. Be patient with yourselves and each other as you work toward your intimacy goals.