π Active Listening Skills Practice π
Transform How You Listen, Transform Your Relationship
What is Active Listening?
Active listening is the superpower of healthy relationships.
It's not just hearing wordsβit's fully engaging with your partner's thoughts, feelings, and needs while setting aside your own agenda temporarily.
Presence + Attention + Understanding + Validation = Connection
Core Active Listening Skills
Click each skill as you practice it:
Skills Progress
Do's and Don'ts of Active Listening
β DO
- Use minimal encouragers ("mm-hmm", "go on")
- Mirror their emotion appropriately
- Ask "Tell me more about that"
- Pause before responding
- Notice non-verbal cues
- Stay curious, not defensive
- Thank them for sharing
β DON'T
- Plan your rebuttal while they talk
- One-up with your own story
- Minimize ("At least...")
- Jump to problem-solving
- Check your phone/watch
- Interrupt to correct details
- Say "I know exactly how you feel"
Self-Assessment: Your Listening Level
Listening Blocks Inventory
Check the blocks that apply to you:
Practice Scenarios
Scenario 1: The Stressful Day
Your partner says: "I had the worst day at work. My boss criticized my project in front of everyone, and I felt so humiliated. I don't even want to go back tomorrow."
Scenario 2: The Recurring Issue
Your partner says: "You always forget to do the things I ask. I mentioned three times this week about calling the plumber, and you still haven't done it. I feel like I'm not being heard."
Scenario 3: The Dream Share
Your partner says: "I've been thinking about going back to school. I know it's expensive and time-consuming, but I really want to change careers. I'm excited but also terrified."
Partner Practice Exercise
π 2-Minute Listening Rounds
Take turns being the speaker and listener. Use the timer below:
π£οΈ Speaker's Topic Ideas:
- A childhood memory
- A current worry
- Something you're grateful for
- A goal or dream
- A time you felt proud
π Listener's Checklist:
Advanced Listening Techniques
Level Up Your Listening
1. The Emotional Labeling Technique
Instead of: "That sucks"
Try: "You sound disappointed and maybe a bit betrayed"
2. The Essence Capture
Summarize the core of what they're saying in one sentence:
Example: "It sounds like the heart of this is feeling unseen by people you care about"
3. The Values Reflection
Identify the underlying value in their share:
Example: "This really speaks to how much integrity matters to you"
Difficult Listening Situations
When Listening is Hard
Your Active Listening Action Plan
Commitment to Better Listening
Listening Phrases Cheat Sheet
Keep These Handy:
- "What I hear you saying is..."
- "It sounds like..."
- "Let me see if I understand..."
- "So you felt... when..."
- "Tell me more about..."
- "What was that like for you?"
- "How did that affect you?"
- "What's the hardest part?"
- "That makes total sense"
- "Anyone would feel that way"
- "I can see why that upset you"
- "Your feelings are valid"
- "Help me understand..."
- "What did you mean when..."
- "Can you give me an example?"
- "I want to make sure I get this"