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⚠️ Important Information

This worksheet is for therapeutic exploration and self-reflection purposes.

EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy) focuses on understanding attachment patterns and emotional experiences
This self-exploration tool is meant to complement, not replace, professional therapy
If you're experiencing significant emotional distress, please seek support from a qualified therapist
Take breaks if any questions feel overwhelming or bring up difficult emotions
Your emotional responses and patterns can change with awareness and support

1. Current Emotional Awareness

What are you feeling right now as you begin this exploration?

Notice any emotions, physical sensations, or thoughts that are present

Primary Emotion Identification

Click on emotions that resonate with your current experience

Anger

Sadness

Fear

Joy

Shame

Guilt

Anxiety

Loneliness

Hurt

Love

Gratitude

Excitement

Frustration

Hope

Confusion

Peace

2. Attachment Style Reflection

Understanding Your Attachment Patterns

Secure Attachment

Comfortable with intimacy and independence. Generally trusting in relationships.

Anxious Attachment

Seeks closeness but fears abandonment. May become preoccupied with relationships.

Avoidant Attachment

Values independence, may struggle with intimacy. Often self-reliant to avoid disappointment.

Disorganized Attachment

Conflicted about closeness. May have experienced inconsistent caregiving.

Which attachment style(s) resonate most with your experience in relationships?

Where do you think these attachment patterns originated?

Consider early relationships, family dynamics, or significant life experiences

3. Identifying Your Emotional Cycle

EFT focuses on understanding the cycles we get stuck in during emotional distress

Step 1: Trigger

What typically triggers your emotional reactions in relationships?

Step 2: Primary Emotion

What is the deeper, more vulnerable emotion underneath your initial reaction?

Often fear, hurt, sadness, or longing - the emotions we try to protect

Step 3: Protective Response

How do you typically protect yourself when feeling vulnerable?

Step 4: Impact on Relationships

How does your protective response affect your relationships?

4. Core Attachment Needs

What do you most need in relationships to feel secure?

Click on needs that feel most important to you

To be seen & understood

To feel safe & secure

To be valued & appreciated

To feel loved unconditionally

To have space & independence

To be comforted when hurt

To feel chosen & prioritized

To be trusted & respected

To feel emotionally connected

To have my feelings validated

To feel physically safe

To be forgiven for mistakes

Which of these needs feel most unmet in your current relationships?

How do you typically express these needs to others?

Do you ask directly, hint, withdraw, or express through other behaviors?

5. Emotional Expression & Regulation

Which emotions feel most comfortable for you to experience and express?

Which emotions feel most difficult or threatening?

How do you typically regulate overwhelming emotions?

What strategies do you use when emotions feel too intense?

6. Relationship Patterns & Dynamics

What patterns do you notice repeating in your close relationships?

How do you typically respond when there's conflict or tension in a relationship?

What feels most challenging about emotional intimacy and closeness?

7. Creating New Possibilities

If you could respond differently in difficult relationship moments, what would that look like?

What do you think your heart most needs for healing in relationships?

What small steps could you take toward more secure, emotionally connected relationships?

What support do you need to work on these attachment and emotional patterns?